Emily: I'll come straight to the point, Christopher. Now, I have known you a long time. I watched you grow up. You were a charming boy. A weak, but charming boy. And to be completely honest, I never thought much of you. I still don't.
Christopher: Wow. That's great of you to come by and share that with me.
Emily: However, you have good breeding, you come from an impeccable family and you love Lorelai. You've always loved Lorelai. You would've married her when she got pregnant. I know that. And you would have married her if that girlfriend of yours hadn't gotten pregnant with this. I know that too. Lorelai's in a relationship now, did you know that?
Christopher: Yes, I know that.
Emily: He owns a diner. He's a divorcee. He's uneducated, he's not a proper stepfather for Rory and he's completely unsuitable for Lorelai. My daughter is stubborn, but she's capable of greatness. And watching her settle down with a man who could hold her back from that is unacceptable. You, at least, won't hold her back.
Christopher: Okay, Emily, I'm very confused by this speech of yours, and G.G. needs to be fed.
Emily: She's getting serious with this man. I've seen it with my own eyes. If you want a chance with Lorelai you had better do something. And you had better do something now. Timing has never been your strong point, Christopher. You should see if you can change that. Goodbye, G.G. Enjoy your program.

Luke: It's the damn oven.
Lorelai: The damn oven?
Luke: Damn oven!
Lorelai: What's up with the damn oven?
Luke: I bought this damn oven and the thermostat doesn't work!
Lorelai: The damn thermostat or just the thermostat?
Luke: Are you being cute?
Lorelai: Sorry, go on!
Luke: So I went and I got a new thermostat, and now I can't figure out how to replace the damn thing.
Lorelai: So it is a damn thermostat.
Luke: I don't have time for this.

Lorelai: Okay. So, what do we think is going on here?
Michel: I believe that our employees are clandestinely using our rooms for sexual encounters on their coffee breaks.
Lorelai: Come on.
Michel: Lars and Celia seem awfully friendly lately. You don't notice them making goo-goo eyes? And Celia has put on weight. Perhaps one too many Toblerones.
Lorelai: I don't think Lars and Celia are having an affair.

Michel: Hey. I just asked Lars if he was seeing anyone special. He misunderstood and he might be filing one of those sexual harassment charges against me. And you, 'cause I said you made me.
Lorelai: Hey, hey. Michel, come back here.
Kirk: I'll get him.

Sookie: I'll go home right now and tell him.
Lorelai: Okay.
Sookie: Of course, it's the episode where Barnabas kidnaps Maggie.
Lorelai: And imprisons her in a coffin in the mausoleum's secret room in punishment for disobeying him?
Sookie: Yeah!
Lorelai: Scoot over.

Richard: I'll make arrangements to get your car to the shop tomorrow.
Emily: Thank you.
Richard: You might want to re-think that lease, though. Are you sure you're feeling all right?
Emily: I'm fine.
Richard: I don't want to go back to the pool house.
Emily: Come home.

Lorelai: Oh, my God. My parents are having an affair. [Richard and Emily look out the window] Oh, careful, it might be a trap.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: I don't know. I'm freaking out. This does not compute, does not compute.

Emily: Richard, we just have to get the Rose Room.
Richard: Don't you worry, our company insures that building. We don't get that room, suddenly they have a very expensive foundation upgrade to go through.
Emily: I married a wonderful man, girls.
Rory: Yes, you did.

Lorelai: Hey, Mom, about this whole, um, maid of honor thing?
Emily: Oh, yes. Richard, can you spare us a moment? I want to take Lorelai upstairs.
Lorelai: Why?
Richard: Of course.
Lorelai: What- Why do you want to take me upstairs?
Emily: Wonderful, we'll be right back.
Lorelai: Why doesn't Rory have to go upstairs?
Richard: I'll finish this phone call and then Rory and I will discuss the possibility of her being my best man.
Rory: Really? I'm going to be your best man?

Luke: I will never, under any circumstances, no matter how short a dress you put on, go back to Al's Pancake World ever, ever again.
Lorelai: Aw, you didn't like your manicotti?
Luke: That was not manicotti, it was square and flat and blue.
Lorelai: Yeah. Manicotti's rarely blue.