Rory: Then I was torn between taking her to the Hewitt Memorial Quadrangle or the Science Center and gymnasium.
Richard: Huh. That is a conundrum.
Lorelai: Yeah, especially since she'll be snoring by then, you'll just be dragging her dead body weight around the campus.
Richard: Lorelai, these things are of great interest to any young person considering attending Yale.
Lorelai: Oh, I am sure.
Rory: I, personally, would enjoy every single thing on my list.
Lorelai: Yes, I know. But it wouldn't hurt to maybe throw a little something fun in. I'm not talking a kegger, but just walk her by the crazy drama students yelling "Give me a location" or something like that.

Richard: Well, a good college experience is a well-rounded college experience. It's important for you to show her that Yale students have fun, too. Oh, have her touch the toe!
Rory: Yeah!
Lorelai: Touch the toe?
Rory: The toe. The statue of Theodore Woolsey. It brings good luck to everyone who touches his feet. And for that reason he has one left toe that's been rubbed completely shiny.
Lorelai: Wow, that is fun! Make sure you get a parent consent form for that one.

Lorelai: So tell me about this Logan.
Rory: It's three degrees out here.
Lorelai: Uh, as of tonight my father knows way more personal dish about you than I do. That's not right or fair. He doesn't get as much enjoyment out of the dish as I do. For him the dish is always half empty.
Rory: You're just talking to keep yourself warm, aren't you?
Lorelai: What is the deal with this guy? Are you dating?
Rory: No, we're not dating. He's just a friend.
Lorelai: How close? For example, if we freeze to death will he come to the funeral or just send a nice fruit basket?

Lorelai: 'Cause there are not many ways I can outdo my father.
Rory: I know.
Lorelai: Info on you and looking better in chiffon, that's about it. Oh, and my pole-dance is way hotter.

Lorelai: Okay, so it's Tuesday at eight o'clock.
Luke: I can't go Tuesday.
Lorelai: Why not?
Luke: I have to go out of town.
Lorelai: Why?
Luke: Business.
Lorelai: Business? Now you're Willy Loman?
Luke: Banking business in Woodbury, standing appointment. Sorry. Hit the light, will you? I have to get up early. 'Night.

Rory: Anna, this is my roommate Paris, and I'm sorry.
Anna: For what?
Rory: Trust me.

Rory: The oldest part of the campus is, of course, the old campus, and it houses most of the undergraduate freshman class. It was begun be Theodore Dwight Woolsey, president of Yale from 1846 to 1871. Over here is the Elihu Yale bench. Now, Eli Yale was an officer in the British East Indian Company. He gave what was then called the Collegiate School 562 pounds and 417 books and a portrait of King George the first. And so it was renamed in his honor. He actually gave an additional 500 pounds to the school but Yale College never received it because he mistakenly sent it to the non-existing Collegiate School, apparently forgetting that Yale was named after him. Oh, wait. This is the wrong bench. So keep the story, but cross out the diagram. Moving on.

Rory: There's actually an ongoing rumor that you can automatically graduate and earn your degree if you become sufficiently fluent in Latin, Greek and Hebrew. Imagine all the tables you could wait with those skills, huh?

Lorelai: Hey, where are you going?
Luke: Back to the diner.
Lorelai: Let me drive you.
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Look, I can drive you back to the diner. I promise if we pass any senior citizens I'll let you jump out and pants them.

Luke: Tomorrow's the anniversary of my dad's death.
Lorelai: Uh, oh, hon.
Luke: And every year on that anniversary, I disappear. I don't work. I don't talk to anyone. I get in kind of a funk. It's like, um...
Lorelai: You have a "dark day".
Luke: Yeah. I have a dark day. I thought I should tell you this because we're in a relationship, and I thought you might wonder why I suddenly don't answer the phone, or I'm not around, why you can't flip your hair and con me into going to Miss Patty's crazy anniversary party.
Lorelai: The hair flip is that effective, huh?
Luke: Combine that with your black dress, you could probably get me to be your backup dancer.
Lorelai: I'll remember that.