Paris: Paris, and no, my parents didn't travel.
Billy: Billy, and I have no idea what that means.
Paris: Never mind. So, what's your story, Billy?
Billy: Well, I'm a drama major-
Paris: Ding, ding, ding!

Paris: All right, fine. Doyle and I had sex.
Rory: Okay, Anna, get your coat.
Paris: We met at speed dating, and we considered having dinner first, but we both knew where it was going to end up, so we figured we'd just cut to the chase and save the calories.
Rory: Hurry up, Anna.
Anna: Where are we going?
Rory: Dinner.
Anna: It's only five.
Paris: You have no right to be repulsed by my sex life. [Rory and Anna exit]
Doyle: This is an exceptionally comfortable robe.

Miss Patty: Thank you. Thank you, everyone. I'm honored that you came here to help me celebrate forty wonderful years on the stage. It feels so good to be here in front of an audience, and so close to a piano. So close to a piano. Kirk!
Kirk: Sorry. Hey, Patty, why don't you do a little something for us?
Miss Patty: Well, if you insist. Hit it.

Richard: I do hope one of his dopey looking friends knows CPR, or he just might not make it.
Rory: You're the best, Grandpa.
Richard: [chuckles] All right, who's next? Paris giving you any trouble?
Rory: Not anymore than usual. However, there is a girl in my modern poetry class who keeps kicking my chair.
Richard: Ah, I do love this place.
Rory: Right back at you, Grandpa.