Paris: Founder's Day punch?
Kirk: Abba Zabbas.
Lorelai: Good morning, Vietnam. [Paris groans] How's everyone feeling today? Terrific. Okay, I got tacos, hard tacos, I got soft tacos, I got fries, curly, straight, and spicy.
Paris: Are you serious?
Lorelai: Trust me. It's the best hangover food on the East Coast.
Kirk: You get a Mars bar? You know, hair of the dog?
Lorelai: Ah, there's pop tarts in the cabinet, Kirk. Coffee'll be up in a minute, grab some water and start hydrating!
Paris: The smell of these tacos is making me nauseous.
Lorelai: No, no, no. That's the quart of Patty's non-FDA-approved Founder's Day punch you drank last night. Eat a taco.

Lorelai: Oh, here, before I forget. Um, this fell out of your pocket last night while you were pulling an Exorcist.
Rory: Mm. Paris gave it to me to hold so she wouldn't call Doyle.
Lorelai: She was the talk of the town this morning. Attacked the pretzel cart, police backup had to be called for the first time ever.
Rory: She was quite a mess.
Lorelai: Uh-huh. So apparently it was a theme.
Rory: I am sorry. It won't happen again, believe me.
Lorelai: You, of all people, should know the dangers of the Founder's Day punch. Did you learn nothing from Mommy's Coyote Ugly bar dance at last year's Salute to the Quakers festival?
Rory: Oh, now, you can't blame that all on the punch.
Lorelai: Well, don't get me wrong, I'm always up for a little mother-daughter bonding, but seriously, when did facials go out of style?

Michel: [on the phone] Hold on a second. [to Lorelai] It's for you. It's Sookie. She's done with her doctor's appointment.
Lorelai: Oh, she say how she is?
Michel: Mm, to someone who may have asked her, I'm sure she would have.

Sookie: [on the phone] The bastard put me on bed rest.
Lorelai: What?
Sookie: Dr. Menck. He told me to lie down immediately and not to get up again until little Cherry or Norric comes out.
Lorelai: Oh. Well, we'll get to the names in a second.

Sookie: [on the phone] You need to grate six carrots and four parsnips, and then take some flour and butter, melt the butter, make a roux.
Lorelai: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Sookie: What?
Lorelai: Uh, baby, you lost me at carrots. Which, uh, by the way, was the first draft of "You had me at hello".
Sookie: You had me at what? What are you talking about?
Lorelai: Oh, sorry. I see we've entered the no humor zone.

Lorelai: Okay, now tell me who does what, and what we need to keep things running.
Michel: Well, we need Sookie here.
Lorelai: Okay. Well, she's not going to be here, so let's go to plan B.
Michel: Okay, plan B. That involves Sookie's clone, also named Sookie.

Logan: How's that headache of yours?
Rory: Subsiding a little. The mashed potato, mac and cheese, biscuit, gravy plate combo really helped a lot.
Logan: I have to say, half the fun in being with you is the horrified looks on the waiters' faces.
Rory: Please. I'm an amateur compared to my mother.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Sookie, the applications, from the culinary institute, for your temporary replacement?
Sookie: Are they not there?
Lorelai: Uh, depends on where 'there' is.
Sookie: Huh. They're around somewhere. Check the freezer. Sometimes I like to read in there.
Lorelai: That's very Lucy of you. I'll call when I find them.

Lorelai: You know, I love watching you cook. It's hot.
Luke: That's because you're standing right next to the broiler.
Lorelai: Oh, is that what we're calling it now?
Luke: Not in front of the guys, please.
Lorelai: Fine. I'll save my dirty cooking jokes for later.

Rory: I am going to tell you something. But when I do, you cannot say a word.
Lorelai: Why not?
Rory: Because I don't want to hear it.
Lorelai: Hear what?
Rory: What you're going to say.
Lorelai: But how do you know what I'm going to say?
Rory: Trust me. I know.
Lorelai: Hey, I have been known to say some very surprising things. "Hugh, I know you're with Elizabeth Hurley, but how about picking up a hooker tonight?" That was me.