Sookie: [on the phone] You don't put walnuts in your bechamel?
Luke: Sookie, I have things burning, so-
Sookie: I thought I tasted walnuts. What things are you burning?
Luke: What do you mean, you tasted walnuts?
Sookie: You want to get fancy, you can do that at your own diner. My bechamel sauce is classic.
Luke: How are you tasting the bechamel?
Sookie: And I don't remember including goat cheese in the fennel salad.
Luke: How do you know what's in the fennel salad?
Sookie: So you admit it. You put goat cheese in the fennel salad.
Luke: Yeah, I put goat cheese in the fennel salad. It goes good in the fennel salad and you had it sitting there.
Sookie: And I also have some Brill-o pads sitting there. You want to toss a couple of those into the fennel salad as well? Hm?

Luke: [on the phone] How do you know all this?
Sookie: I just assumed.
Luke: You just assumed I put goat cheese in the fennel salad.
Sookie: And walnuts in the bechamel.
Luke: I did not put walnuts in the- Sookie, are you having people bring you my food? You are. You're calling here and having people sneak food out from behind my back so that you can taste it.
Sookie: Wow. You paranoid or what? Geez, man, time for a vacation. [to his kitchen staff] Hold on. Okay, here's the deal. Announcement, please. From this moment on, there will be no more food leaving the premises. The food goes from here to the dining room, or upstairs, and that is it. No more food will leave the premises. No quiero que ninguna comida salga de esta lugar. Comprende? [to Sookie] What about you, you comprende?
Sookie: That's my kitchen, Luke!
Luke: And it will be here waiting for you when you get back. Until then, sit back, relax, and watch Ellen dance around a little. I got work to do.

Rory: There's a woman in my room?
Paris: That's Nanny. You know Nanny. That makes me sad that you don't remember Nanny. She always liked you.
Rory: She's stripping my bed. Why is she doing that?
Paris: Well, she finally got Doyle to sleep, and she has to do something. The woman doesn't tire. She's a machine.
Rory: What do you mean, she finally got Doyle to sleep?
Paris: He's here. He's sick, so Nanny's taking care of him.
Rory: Why aren't you doing it?
Paris: Sick people freak me out.
Rory: You're pre-med!
Paris: I'm really tired of having that constantly thrown in my face.

Rory: Well, I told him that I didn't think things were working and that we should just be friends, but he didn't want to be just-
Paris: Friends?
Rory: No. It seemed to wake him up. So now he wants to give commitment a try.
Paris: A commitment? With Logan?
Rory: Yep.
Paris: I don't believe it! You did it, you landed the whale. You're Annette Bening.
Rory: I'm not Annette Bening.

Rory: Remind me to tell you about the time my mother wore a shirt with a rhinestone penis on it and my grandma had her car towed.

Luke: Hey. That's it. I've had it.
Lorelai: You've had what?
Luke: She's a crazy woman. And now she's upstairs and ladles are mysteriously flying out of the kitchen.
Lorelai: Who's upstairs?
Luke: Sookie's upstairs!
Lorelai: No, Sookie's at home.
Luke: No, Sookie's supposed to be at home. And then I didn't strain the sauce twice, so she came here to drive me crazy and she brought her loony husband with her.
Lorelai: Jackson's here? How am I missing all of this?
Luke: I don't know, and I don't care! I'm through! I'm not taking this anymore!
Lorelai: What do you mean, you're not taking it anymore? What are you going to do?
Luke: You want to know what I'm going to do? Nothing! Because I am in a relationship with you and you know very well I can't leave. All I can do is come out here and say I'm through and pretend I have a leg to stand on and then march back into that kitchen and keep doing the job. But, oh, boy, I'm going to be thinking about what I would have done if we weren't in a relationship, even though that would mean I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. Excuse me.

Rory: [on the phone] Well, to make a long story short, Logan's family hates me.
Lorelai: That's impossible. It's like hating Thumper. No one hates Thumper.

Lorelai: [on the phone] Rory, two days ago you were on the bathroom floor crying about why he won't call you. Why doesn't he like you, what did you do.
Rory: I was drunk. I was sick.
Lorelai: You, my beautiful, brainy, fabulous daughter, were lying on the floor of the bathroom, wondering what you had done wrong! Which is disturbing to me on several levels, including the fact that I can't remember the last time I cleaned the floor of the bathroom.

Paris: He got dumped two years ago. Apparently, it was a vicious Julia Roberts to Kiefer Sutherland kind of dump. She broke his heart, slept with his best friend, and took the dog. He swore off women completely until he met me.
Rory: Wow. That was a lot of ground you guys covered last night.
Paris: He finally admitted, once his cough started coming back, that what we have he no longer views as casual. He said we are officially in a committed-
Rory: Hey, I know that word.
Paris: ...relationship, and I would not be remotely out of line if I called myself his girlfriend. And then I handed him the Nyquil, and then he passed out.
Rory: Very romantic.
Paris: I know.

Rory: Oh, thank God, hangover food.
Lorelai: That's my little college girl.
Rory: Tito's was open this early?
Lorelai: Well, it was for me.
Rory: The power you have over fast food owners is astonishing.