Monica: Is Joey here?
Chandler: No, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with a bridesmaid and a bucket of strawberries.

Chandler: Want to get under the covers?
Monica: Okay. Wow, you are really fast!
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Monica: We're gonna see each other naked.
Chandler: Yep.
Monica: You want to do it at the same time?
Chandler: Count of three?
Monica: One-
Chandler and Monica: Two, three-
Chandler: Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway.
Chandler: Eh.

Chandler: It's Joey, Joey, Joey!
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey, Joe. I was just watching a movie.
Joey: Oh, dude, I'm so sorry.
Chandler: No! No!
Joey: It's cool. I'll only be a second. I'm still with my bridesmaid. Dude, where are those condoms you brought?
Chandler: They're in my bag over there. Uh, could you leave me one?
Joey: For just you?
Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: All right. There you go, buddy. Go nuts.

Joey: That's what that was? Can you imagine, if I hadn't left you that last one, you two might've never gotten together. Oh, oh. Can you imagine if I had sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna? It's like it was in the stars.

Monica: Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey wasn't there?
Joey: Hey! I'm a man of the cloth but I still have feelings.

Chandler: Okay, there's no way you're doing this wedding now, okay?
Joey: What? That's not fair. It's not my fault. I was off with my bridesmaid. And who's to say I would have even said yes? I mean, I would have said yes.

Monica: Wait, Chandler, it's not a big deal.
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman and instead you had to settle for Robin.
Joey: This is crazy.
Phoebe: I know. Robin is so gay.

Ross: I don't want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Rachel: Fine. Fine. But I'll have you know, once I taught him that stuff, he called me "fun Aunt Rachel." And I loved being fun Aunt Rachel.
Ross: I'm glad you guys were bonding but-
Rachel: Look, he doesn't have any brothers or sisters. Somebody's going to have to teach him this stuff. And I haven't taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesn't know.
Ben: [o.s.] Crap!
Rachel: I gotta go.

Phoebe: I'm really glad you guys are okay, but I just keep thinking what would've happened if you two had hooked up.
[fantasy:]
Monica: Honey, dinner's ready!
Joey: What's my little chef got for me tonight?
Monica: Your favorite.
Joey: Ho, ho, ho, fried stuff with cheese.
Monica: Yep, and lots of it!
Joey: Thanks, sweetheart. Give me a little sugar. [Joey picks up a piece of food] How you doin'?

Monica: Hey, Pheebs, how's it going?
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Can I get you something?
Phoebe: Oh my God, you’ve got to stop chattering!
Monica: Here, take a couple of these.
Phoebe: What is it?
Monica: It's Hexadrin.
Phoebe: Oh no, I don't believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here... Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. [takes the pills]