Monica: No, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Joey: That's ridiculous.
Ross: Can I use either thumb?

Ross: Hold on a second. Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit.

Monica: All right, I'm gonna go change. I've got a date.
Rachel: Is this Alan again? How's it going?
Monica: It's going pretty good, you know. It's nice and we're having fun.
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Let's see, today's Monday. Never.

Joey: Let it go, Ross.
Ross: Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi-Chi.

Monica: Can I ask a question? Do you think Alan is sometimes-
Ross: What?
Monica: I don't know. A little too "Alan"?
Rachel: Oh, no. That's impossible. You can never be too "Alan."
Ross: Yeah, it's his innate "Alan-ness" that we adore.
Chandler: I, personally, could have a gallon of Alan.

Chandler: Lamb Chop! How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for 30 years, it'd be talking too.

Monica: There's really no easy way to say this. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Ross: Is there somebody else?
Monica: No, no, no, no, no. It's just, you know, things change. People change.
Rachel: We didn't change.
Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?
Phoebe: You know, you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and, [starts chewing her hair]
Monica: Look, I can go on pretending-
Joey: Okay!
Monica: No. No, that wouldn't be fair to me. It wouldn't be fair to Alan. It wouldn't be fair to you.
Ross: Yeah, well, who wants fair? I just want things back, you know, the way they were.
Monica: I'm sorry.
Chandler: Oh, she's sorry. I feel better.
Rachel: I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up, I wanted him to meet my family.
Monica: I'll meet someone else. There'll be other Alans.
Group: Yeah, right!
Monica: Are you guys gonna be okay?
Ross: Hey, hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.

Monica: How was the game?
Ross: Well-
Rachel: We won!
Monica: That's fantastic! I have one question, how is that possible?
Joey: Alan.
Ross: He was unbelievable! He was like that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs was playing every position. But instead of Bugs, it was first base, Alan. Second base, Alan.
Rachel: I mean, it was like he made us into a team.
Chandler: Yeah, we sure showed those Hasidic jewelers a thing or two about softball.

Monica: Not after what happened with Steve.
Chandler: What do you mean? We love [lisping] Steve. Steve was sexy!

Rachel: Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats? That was fun.
Ross: Yeah. He could row like a Viking.