‘The One with the Tea Leaves’
Season 8, Episode 17 - Aired March 7, 2002
After Phoebe's tea leaves tell her that she will soon meet the man of her dreams, she ends up on a disastrous date with a man she kept running into. Fed up of the awkwardness between her and Joey, Rachel invents a ridiculous work problem to talk to him about. Elsewhere, Ross tries to retrieve a "faded salmon" shirt he left at Mona's.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Honey, why is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Cat Stevens case?
Chandler: Let's just say, if I can't find the right CD case, I just put it in the nearest one.
Monica: Okay. Well, where is the Cat Stevens CD?
Chandler: In the James Taylor case.
Monica: Where is the James Taylor CD?
Chandler: Honey, I'm going to save you some time. Two hundred CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Quote from Rachel
Monica: Okay. No need to panic. Deep breaths, everyone. Okay, we're just going to spend some time and put the CDs in the right cases.
Chandler: Well, if we're going to do that, we should come up with some kind of order. You, like alphabetically or by genre.
Monica: Hmm, I don't know. We'll really have to talk this through.
Rachel: Oh, my God, you have such problems! I feel so terrible for you!
Quote from Phoebe
Jim: Oh, it's you. I see you everywhere. I'm Jim. Jim Nelson.
Phoebe: Hi, Jim-Jim Nelson. I'm Phoebe-Phoebe Buffay.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Isn't it funny how we kept running into each other? It's as if someone really wants us together.
Jeff: Someone does. Me.
Phoebe: Ooh. Witty banter. Well done.
Quote from Phoebe
Jeff: I'm sorry. I'm staring. It's just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Phoebe: Oh, stop it.
Jeff: And your breasts! Mm!
Phoebe: Okay. Look, uh, you're coming on a little strong. But I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants us to be together. So why don't we just start over? You can tell me about yourself.
Jeff: All right.
Phoebe: Okay.
Jeff: I write erotic novels for children.
Phoebe: What?
Jeff: They're wildly unpopular.
Phoebe: Oh, my God!
Jeff: Also, you might be interested to know I have a Ph.D.
Phoebe: Wow. You do?
Jeff: Yep. A pretty huge-
Phoebe: All right.
Quote from Ross
Ross: [to Mona] But what did I tell you about leaving your key outside the door like that? I mean you're lucky it was me and not someone else. I guess lucky is too strong a word.