‘The One with the Tea Leaves’
Season 8, Episode 17 - Aired March 7, 2002
After Phoebe's tea leaves tell her that she will soon meet the man of her dreams, she ends up on a disastrous date with a man she kept running into. Fed up of the awkwardness between her and Joey, Rachel invents a ridiculous work problem to talk to him about. Elsewhere, Ross tries to retrieve a "faded salmon" shirt he left at Mona's.
Quote from Joey
Rachel: Joey, honey, listen. Thanks for talking to me yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know that guy's not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Rachel: What?
Joey: Let's just say I took care of it.
Rachel: Ooh, let's say more.
Joey: Don't worry. Don't worry. I just told him, very nicely: "You don't go buying people's babies! So back off!"
Quote from Joey
Rachel: No, no, no. Joey, he doesn't want to buy my baby. I made that up.
Joey: What? Why?
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about. So that it wouldn't be awkward.
Joey: And you couldn't think of anything else?
Quote from Chandler
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?
Rachel: I can't believe you yelled at my boss. I'm going to lose my job. What am I gonna do?
Chandler: You could always sell your baby.
Quote from Monica
Rachel: Joey, I cannot believe you brought my boss into this. I'm going to get fired.
Joey: You lied to me.
Rachel: Well, she told me to.
Monica: Chandler has two copies of Annie!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and that's what they gave me? When I get up there, I'm gonna kick some ass.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Don't worry, Phoebe. You're going to meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Quote from Monica
Phoebe: Oh, you didn't have to come in with me.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains. This is like Disneyland for me. I'm gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts.
Quote from Phoebe
Parker: Would you like to go have a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: I'd love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Monica: Ooh, an ink stain! Can I watch how you get this out?
Phoebe: She must have left.
Quote from Ross
Ross: Hi, listen. Come here. Come- I'm so, so sorry about yesterday. I'm really, really sorry. It's just-
Mona: Listen, Ross, you don't have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
Ross: You do?
Mona: Yeah. You still have feelings for me. And to be honest, I still have feelings for you too and I wish we could work it out, Ross, but we can't. It's too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby. I just- It just wasn't meant to be.
Ross: Oh, God. You're right.
Mona: Ross, we have to be strong. Okay, I'm gonna go. Can I [Mona picks up Ross's faded salmon shirt]? To remember you?
Ross: No.
Quote from Chandler
Phoebe: Oh, wait a second, you guys? For the last couple of weeks, I've been seeing that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus, go to the same bookstore, same drycleaner.
Maybe he's the tea guy.
Chandler: Pheebs, did you see that? He totally checked you out. And he is so cute. Mine is a picture of the Village People. What's that mean?