Chandler: What else?
Ross: I don't know.
Joey: Oh! Her ankles are a little chubby.
Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's not Rachel.

Monica: Okay, this is pumpkin pie with a Mockolate cookie-crumb crust. This is Mockolate cranberry cake, and these are Mockolate-chip cookies. Just like the lndians served.

Chandler: [on the phone] I tell you, it won't print. I pressed that button, like, 100 times. For a hotline, you're not so hot. What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?

Ross: Just remember how crazy I am about you, okay?
Rachel: "Kind of ditzy"? "Too into her looks"? "Spoiled"?
Ross: Now, that's a little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little," the idiot!
Rachel: "Just a waitress"?
Ross: Now that was. I mean, as opposed to- Okay, is this over yet? Rach?
Rachel: I do not have chubby ankles!
Ross: No! Okay, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
Rachel: "She's not Rachem"? What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know, because I'm just a waitress?
Ross: Rach, come on! Rach. No. It's "She's not Rachel"! She's not- Rachel?

Chandler: My diary. My diary. That's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary She never would have made me read her my diary.
Monica: That's true. You know, you'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.

Monica: I cannot believe Ross even made this list.
Phoebe: I know. What a dinkus.
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: What?
Chandler: Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up.

Ross: I know how you must-
Rachel: No! You don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person you trusted most in the world not only thinks them too but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Ross: No, but see, I want to be with you in spite of all those things.
Rachel: Oh. Well, that's mighty big of you, Ross.

Radio Woman: We've just gotten a call from Rachel and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling. And, Ross, if you're listening I don't want to play your song anymore.

Phoebe: Okay. All right. Let's hear about the kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips or was it like a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
Rachel: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then. Oh, God. And then we just sort of sunk into it.
Phoebe: Oh. So was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back?
Rachel: No, actually, first they started out on my waist and then they slid up and were in my hair.

Ross: And then I kissed her.
Joey: Tongue?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Cool.