Monica: Joey, this is for you. It's blackberry currant.
Joey: Aww. [licking jam off his finger] Oh!
Chandler: Joe, I got to ask. [Weighing one hand] The girl from the xerox place, buck naked, or [other hand] a big tub of jam?
Joey: Put your hands together!

Chandler: See, Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.

Joey: What is this? Fruit?
Rachel: Monica's making jam.
Joey: Jam? I love jam! How come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.

Phoebe: No, no, he's not a kook. He's just this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy that just got, like, a teensy bit carried away. We just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Ross: Oh, my God! You've got a crush on your sister's stalker.
Phoebe: No. I'm just going to help him get "de-Ursula-ized." Like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: [with a mouth full of food] I didn't stalk her, I mean.
Phoebe: I asked for the news, not the weather.

Monica: Joey, don't. It's way too hot. [Joey eats a spoonful of jam, spits it back into the pan]
Joey: This'll just be my batch.

Phoebe: Wait. I got a little story. Once, in junior high school, I thought I was a witch. And a guidance counselor told me something that might help you. He said, "Okay, you' re not a witch. You're just an average student." See what I'm saying?
Malcolm: Not really.

Phoebe: Do you want to get a cup of coffee?
Malcolm: Yeah, okay.
Phoebe: Okay, you don't have to walk behind me anymore.

Rachel: [reading a note] "Gone for more jars. Be back later. Monica Geller."

Chandler: So you both just know this stuff?
Rachel: After 30 or 40 fights, you kind of catch on.

Chandler: Okay, this is good. All right, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle at night, which I' m all for. But, you know, when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something?
Rachel: Sorry, honey. [cutesy, kissing Ross] We can't help you there, because we're cuddly sleepers.