Chandler: Okay. The old "hug and roll." One question.
Ross: Shoot.
Chandler: You're pretending the pillow's a girl, right?

Phoebe: You know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Joey: [with a mouth full of food] You talked to him? Are you crazy?
Phoebe: Okay. First, I'm not crazy. And second, say it, don't spray it.

Phoebe: Anyway, his name is Malcolm, and he wasn't following me. I mean, he was, but he thought I was Ursula. Uch. That's why- That's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. Because of the restraining order.
Chandler: Hmm. Not feeling better about Malcolm.

Chandler: [inner monologue] Look at all the room on her side. You could fit a giant penguin over there. That'd be weird, though.

Chandler: [inner monologue] Hug and roll time. I'm hugging. I'm hugging. You're rolling, and ... yes! Freedom. Except for this arm. I'm stuck. Stuck arm. Time for the old tablecloth trick. One fluid motion. Quick like a cat. Quick like a cat. And one, two three. [Chandler pulls his arm out, Janice rolls out of bed]

[Joey offers Chandler a spoonful of jam straight from the jar]
Chandler: No, it's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.

Joey: Check it out, jam crackers.

Joey: I'm kind of surprised there are any of my boys left.
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean, I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Joey: Maybe I should call this place and get them to put my Days of our Lives gig on here. Juice this puppy up a little.

Phoebe: He's not still following her. You think he's still following her?
Chandler: Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.

Phoebe: What should I do?
Monica: If you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Joey: Or you could follow him.
Monica: Now that's what I would do. Forget mine.