Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Rachel: What? Chandler, what is the matter with you?
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.

Ross: Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?
Phoebe: Joey stuffing fifteen Oreos in his mouth.
Ross: Fifteen? Your personal best.

Phoebe: Where were you?
Ross: On a date. I met this girl on a train going to a museum upstate.
Phoebe: Which museum?
Ross: How'd you meet her?
Phoebe: No. Answer his.

Chandler: Hey, look. They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Phoebe: That paper is two weeks old.
Chandler: Okay. Who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?

Chandler: There are some nice guys at my office. You want me to set you up?
Rachel: Yeah. Wait a minute, it's been a long time that I've been single. Why haven't you offered this before?
Chandler: I have a girlfriend. I'm happy. So I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.

Monica: I haven't been picked on this much since kindergarten and they brought in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me.

Joey: Hey, Mon, I'm not doing anything. Why don't you fire me?
Monica: That's a good idea. Do you know how to be a waiter?
Joey: Good enough to be fired.

Chandler: Guys are throwing themselves at me, buying me drinks and giving me stuff. Knicks tonight?
Joey: Sure. Where are the seats?
Chandler: Wherever. I've got, like, 20.

Rachel: So will I like any of these guys?
Chandler: You know what, I'm going to play the field just a little bit more.
Rachel: Chandler-
Chandler: Guys are signing over their 401Ks to me.
Phoebe: You work with robots?

Rachel: Chandler, you have the best taste in men.
Chandler: Well, like father, like son.