Joey: Yeah, I'm kind of having a little problem.
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it.

Ross: There's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture. You should take a walk down Fifth to the St. Patrick's Cathedral. And there, there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
Joey: Jeez. Sounds like you should be going on this date.
Ross: But I'm not.

Nurse: Mr. Bing? Here you are. You're going to go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, I usually have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk.

Ross: So let's move on to the Renaissance.
Joey: Okay. Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure.
Touch it. It's really bumpy.
Ross: No, no, no. No ad-libbing. And, dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Joey: Come on.
Ross: No, no!

Chandler: My specimen's in the room. And I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along.

Chandler: I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was so worried about having to come here and do that.
Janice: You can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Chandler: It was a Wendy's!

Phoebe: How can you come here?
Rachel: How can you not tell me you work here?
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything.
Rachel: You do if you're gonna make me feel guilty for getting a free massage.
Phoebe: Tip's not included.

Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much you should walk out there right now and quit.
Be true to what you believe in. Honey, you have principles, and I so admire that. I don't have any.

Phoebe: If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.

Ross: Got you! Die! Die! Die! ... Respectfully, Professor R. Geller.