Chandler: Hey, Joey, what are you getting Kathy for her birthday?
Joey: We've only been going out a couple weeks. You think I got to get her something?
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something and it should be something really nice-
Joey: I know.
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."

Phoebe: Ooh, a crossword. Can I help?
Rachel: No. I'm sorry, but last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish one without any help.
Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language.

Phoebe: Ooh, look what we almost left.
Monica: No, that's not mine.
Phoebe: Ooh, look what we almost took.

Joey: While you're at it, could you get her a card?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Joey: Or just get a card that has a poem already in it.

Phoebe: You have to get our money.
Monica: But she couldn't stop crying. With those thick glasses, her tears look giant.

Monica: So you think she's faking?
Phoebe: Well, there weren't any tears till you showed her the bill.
Monica: She sounded pretty upset to me.
[Phoebe opens the door and finds Mrs. Burkhart singing]
Phoebe: She seems fine now.

Joey: So what happened?
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened. I had to get out of there.
Joey: Next time, you take her to your place.
Ross: I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Ross: I don't know. Soap?

Ross: I mean, who cares about a little sloppiness? It's endearing, really.
Joey: All right. Now you go get that beautiful pig. [snorts]

Rachel: Okay. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen and you get her something worse than that ... Iike a regular pen.

Cheryl: Guess who?
Ross: Department of Sanitation?