‘The One with the Chicken Pox’
Season 2, Episode 23 - Aired May 9, 1996
Phoebe is excited to spend time with an old boyfriend who's ashore for two weeks, until she comes down with chicken pox. Meanwhile, Chandler regrets giving Joey a job at his office when he takes on a new persona, and Monica is bugged that Richard doesn't have any quirks after she reveals her own obsessive compulsions.
Quote from Ross
[Ross and Rachel walk in on Phoebe and Ryan rubbing up against each other to try scratch their chicken pox]
Rachel: Stop that right now.
Ross: You know, I might've expected this of you, Phoebe. But, Ryan, you're a military man.
Quote from Joey
Chandler: Hey, Mr. Douglas.
Mr. Douglas: Bing, I got your memo. We're not gonna see the report until next Friday?
Chandler: Well, my group wants to spend the holiday with family.
Mr. Douglas: I have a family. I'm gonna be here.
Joey: Yeah, Bing. What's that about?
Quote from Joey
Joey: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
Chandler: Why? Why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?
Joey: Because he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
Chandler: Why? Why? Why does he suspect that?
Joey: Because at first, he thought it was Joseph but after he asked Joseph about it, it turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
[Chandler gets ready to say something, but is eating his muffin]
Monica: Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he swallows.
Phoebe: Okay. Ryan, that guy I went out with who's in the Navy.
Quote from Phoebe
Rachel: You went out with a guy in the Navy?
Phoebe: I met him while playing guitar in the park. Ryan threw in saltwater taffy because he didn't have change.
Joey: Is that when you wrote "Saltwater Taffy Man"?
Phoebe: No.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
Richard: Oh. Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for.
Quote from Monica
Richard: Okay, I'm going to be taking a shower. Today I'll be singing Jim Croce's "Leroy Brown."
[Monica starts remaking the bed. When Richard returns, she lays on top of it]
Richard: Hey, Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man?
Monica: The baddest. Otherwise, the song would be "Fat, Fat Leroy Brown."
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: This lipstick looks just great on you.
Monica: You look fabulous. You really do.
Phoebe: Yeah, are you sure? Really?
Rachel: See, you look beautiful. [to Monica] For God's sake, dim the lights.