Rachel: Thank you for watching the baby.
Ross: Oh, it's fine. Actually, I invited Mike over.
Rachel: Phoebe's Mike?
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: I didn't know that you guys hung out.
Ross: We don't but thought it'd be nice to get to know him. Maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
Rachel: That's so cute. Ross and Mike's first date. Is that going to be awkward? What are you guys gonna talk about?
Ross: I don't know. But you know, we have a lot in common, you know? He plays piano. I played keyboards in college. He's been divorced. I have some experience in that area.

Joey: Hey, open the door! What's going on? What are you-?
Monica: Hi.
Joey: Why are you dressed like that?
Monica: Because, well, Chandler's gonna be home in a couple of days so I thought I would just, you know, practice the art of seduction.
Joey: But I thought I heard a man's voice before.
Monica: No, I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation. You know, like, "Hi, how do I look?" "Really sexy. Could I be any more turned on?"

[phone rings]
Mike: I'll get it! Hello? Ross's place. Mike speaking. It's for you.
Ross: I don't understand what just happened here.

Phoebe: Hey, Mike, it's me. Listen, is Is Ross near you?
Mike: No, I just left.
Phoebe: Well, you have to go back in.
Mike: What? Go back? To the land where time stands still?

Monica: Chandler, look. I don't wanna be one of those wives that says: "You can't go to the game. You have to spend time with me." So if you could just realize it on your own.

Ross: So Phoebe tells me you play piano.
Mike: Yeah.
Ross: You know, I used to play keyboards in college.
Mike: Oh. Do you have one here?
Ross: No.
Mike: Okay.
[long silence]
Ross: You know, I'm divorced. Phoebe- Phoebe says you're- You've been divorced?
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't really like to talk about it.
Ross: That's okay. We'll talk about something else.
Mike: So you're a paleontologist, right?
Ross: Yeah.
Mike: My cousin's a paleontologist.
Ross: Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.

Chandler: Hey, Joe.
Joey: Dude, come home.
Chandler: What? Why?
Joey: Come home.
Chandler: Look, I can't. What's going on?
Joey: I don't know how to tell you this, but I think Monica's cheating on you. I told you, you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.

Joey: All right, look. If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Chandler: No!
Joey: I just heard him.
Chandler: Can you hear him now?
Joey: No. All right, I'm going in.
Chandler: No, wait!
Joey: I heard him again.

Mike: So you like the beer?
Ross: I do. I do. Although, it's actually a lager.
Mike: Huh. What's the difference between beer and lager?
Ross: I don't know. We could look it up.
Mike: Things are about to get wild.

Rachel: We're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend. I have a baby and a Ross.