Monica: We have got to beat them.
Chandler: Why?
Monica: Because Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are.
Chandler: Oh. So?
Monica: So? So we've gotta go upstairs and have a lot of sex and prove them wrong.
Chandler: Monica, look, you've got to stop this competitive thing. It's crazy. I mean, just to impress Gary and Phoebe, you want me to go upstairs and have sex with you over and over and over- And I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.

Guy: You should check this out. Tell the other tenants. Apparently, he's running around looking for some kind of hot girl.
Ross: Who isn't?

Chandler: That was amazing.
Monica: Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.
Chandler: That was amazing.
Monica: We are the hottest. No one is hotter than we are. We're the best.
Chandler: No, you're the best.
Monica: No, you're the best.
Chandler: No, you're the best.
Monica: I am the best.

Phoebe: Are you tired, Chandler?
Monica: You better believe he's tired after the day we had, if you know what I mean. Do you know what I mean?
Chandler: Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.

Monica: Phoebe, you have a twig in your hair.
Phoebe: Oh. Um, we kind of took a little detour on our way over here.
Gary: Yeah. We were strolling through the park and no one was around, so.
Monica: You didn't.
Phoebe: We did! We violated section 12, paragraph 7 of the criminal code.

Chandler: Monica, this is the men's room. Isn't it?
Monica: Yes, it is. You see, I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out.

Chandler: You know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Monica: Pfft, I did not.
Chandler: Yes, you did. Admit it. You freaked out.
Monica: Okay. I freaked out a little.
Chandler: A little? You freaked out big time, okay? And I fixed it. We have switched places.
I am the relationship king, and you are the crazy, irrational screw-up. [cheering] And now we're back.

Rachel: I cannot believe Ross is buying this.
Monica: Thank God. I can't watch him anymore.
Chandler: You guys ready for the movies?
Rachel: Yeah. And by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.
[Ross at his apartment window performing for cardboard cutouts of Rachel and Monica]
Ross: Man, they cannot get enough!

Joey: Monica, this very hot girl in Ross' building is flirting with me.
Monica: Get in there, man. Flirt back. Mix it up.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, I'm down with that.

Joey: No, no. I'm not with her. That's just Monica. Bleurgh.