Rachel: Have you ever had any weird, romantic dreams?
Monica: Let me think. When I was younger, I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese. And on our wedding night, I ate his head.
Rachel: Okay. Well, this is like that in no way.

Rachel: Maybe it had something to do with the fact I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Monica: A love scene? With who?
Rachel: Olivia.
Monica: Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor? Oh, right. Real life more important.

Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at your restaurant. Wait. Right? I think this might even class up "The Ballad of the Uncircumcised Man."

Receptionist Here's your copy of the bill. We hope you enjoyed your stay.
Chandler: Oh, we did. And you still have all your lamps.

Chandler: I didn't factor in the room tax.
Ross: Dude, don't worry about it. I found an unattended maid's cart. We're way ahead of the game.

Ross: Oh, my God.
Chandler: What?
Ross: There's something new in the bowl.
Chandler: Look, we have enough. Just walk away.
Ross: No, but I want the pine cones.
Chandler: There's a forest right outside.
Ross: It's not the same.

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] The food here at Javu, Will kill you, The food here at Javu, Will kill you.

Monica: Hi, I'm Monica Geller. I'm the head chef here. Okay, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever.

Rachel: Wow, definitely just Drake.

Joey: I don't think it's going very well.
Rachel: What? That scene I saw yesterday was so good.
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we're shooting tomorrow.
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
Joey: A little.