Monica: Let's just cut to the chase, okay. You're single. You're single. He gets off work at 11.
She'll be waiting for your call. I'll give him your number if I could just get one Calamari and one Caesar salad! I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.

Mr. Franklin: Wow, Bing! Burning the midnight oil.
Chandler: You know me, sir. [gives thumbs up] Oh, I do have a question for you. Do you know how I can get around the computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Mr. Franklin: You're a joker, Bing.
Chandler: What's funny about that?

Chandler: Where do you wanna go?
Ross: I think you know where I want to go.
Chandler: The Hard Rock Cafe?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Again?
Ross: Yeah. I'm telling you, I like the food.
Chandler: You like the "Purple Rain" display.

Kash: How come haven't I seen you here before?
Rachel: Well, Joey probably just thinks I'll embarrass him. He thinks I'm some kind of a soap opera nut. Which I'm not. I'm not. Although, I do know that your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. And that your dog's name is Wally. Well, look at that, I'm just stroking your arm.
Joey: Here we go.
Rachel: Oh, we're leaving. Bye, Kash. Say hi to Wally.

Monica: I have to fire him.
Phoebe: Why?
Monica: Because he's terrible. He's slow. He burns things. Last night he lit my pastry chef on fire.
Phoebe: Maybe he was just nervous. You know, you can be very intimidating. And besides, I've met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Monica: Well, now she has no eyebrows. Mission accomplished.

Phoebe: Ooh, looks like when he got the pastry chef, he got you a little bit too.
Monica: I paid to have this done.
Phoebe: Love it.

Chandler: Hey, Bob.
Bob: Hey. How's my pal Toby doing today?
Chandler: If I see him, I'll ask.

Monica: I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha, ha! Gotcha!"

Monica: You said he was so sweet.
Phoebe: He is sweet. He's too sweet. He calls me all the time. "Did you get home okay?" "Did you get out of the shower okay?"
Monica: Just don't pick up your phone.
Phoebe: Then he comes over! "I was so worried about you." Ugh, be a man!

Rachel: What do you think is a better excuse for why I'm not drinking on this date tonight? " Say, "I'm a recovering alcoholic," "I'm a Mormon" or "I got so hammered last night I'm still a little drunk"?