‘The One with Rachel's Assistant’
Season 7, Episode 4 - Aired October 26, 2000
When Rachel gets to hire an assistant at work, she is torn between a well-qualified older woman and an attractive young man. Meanwhile, Joey is offered a part on Days of our Lives as his old character's evil twin, and Monica, Chandler and Ross reveal embarrassing secrets about each other.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Let me see this guy. Wo-ha-ow! Don't show this to Monica. And don't tell her about the "Wo-ha-ow!"
Quote from Joey
Terry: Here are the audition scenes.
Joey: Audition? I thought you were going to offer me the part.
Terry: Why would you think that?
Joey: Well, I was Doctor Drake Ramoray, Stryker's twin brother. Who looks more like me than me, right?
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: Okay, first thing I need you to do. I need you to go downstairs, find a woman named Hilda, and tell her to go home.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Hey, sweetie, I made you a surprise.
Chandler: Oh, yeah?
Monica: Yeah, tacos. Ever since you told me that story, I've had such a craving for them.
Chandler: Did you not understand the story?
Quote from Ross
Ross: What's so funny?
Monica: I'm not laughing. [Monica giggles]
Ross: You told her!
Chandler: Nancy Thompson's getting fired.
Ross: Okay, okay. I had food poisoning. It's not like I chose to do it. It's not like I said, "What would make this ride more fun?"
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: We're getting married. Married couples can't keep secrets.
Ross: Oh, well I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Chandler: Du-ude!
Monica: What happened in Atlantic City?
Ross: So Chandler and I are in a bar-
Chandler: Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude"?
Quote from Chandler
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler. Okay. So after a while he goes over to her and, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls. And you're right. Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: You kissed a guy? Oh, my God!
Chandler: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.
Quote from Rachel
Phoebe: How's Hilda? Is she working out?
Rachel: Oh, my new assistant is working out. Yes.
Joey: Was she happy you gave her the job?
Rachel: My new assistant is very happy that I hired my new assistant.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You want to tell secrets? Okay, in college, Ross used to wear leg warmers.
Quote from Chandler
Ross: All right, Chandler entered a Vanilla lce look-alike contest and won.
Chandler: Ross came in fourth and cried!