‘The One with Princess Consuela’
Season 10, Episode 14 - Aired February 26, 2004
After Phoebe goes to change her name following her marriage to Mike, she gets creative when she learns she can choose anything at all. Rachel has dinner with a recruiter from Gucci, but her boss is seated at the next table. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica ask a reluctant Joey to visit their new house.
Quote from Ross
Rachel: Ross, what is taking you so long?
Ross: I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't built for quick getaway.
Quote from Ross
Mark: Rachel?
Rachel: Mark? Oh, my God.
Mark: How have you been?
Rachel: I'm fantastic. You remember Ross?
Mark: Sure, sure. What's with the chair?
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway so...
Quote from Chandler
Mike: Thank you guys for having us over.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. This is fun, couple's night.
Chandler: Yeah. I don't know why we don't hang out with married couples more often.
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.
Quote from Ross
Ross: My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Phoebe: Wow.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have idea what this means in academic circles, huh? I am gonna get laid!
Quote from Phoebe
Phoebe: All right, Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan.
Chandler: Mrs. Hannigan?
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Oh, I like it.
Quote from Rachel
Mr. Campbell: So your resume is quite impressive.
Rachel: My resume? I wouldn't- I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resume.
Mr. Campbell: Dating profile? No, I'm talking about the work resume-
Rachel: [singing indistinctly] Whatever happened to just singing for no reason?
Mr. Campbell: Maybe people found it weird.
Rachel: Maybe.
Quote from Ross
Ross: What-? What's this? Why, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Phoebe: Ross?
Ross: I guess it's here because I got tenure.
Monica and Chandler: Congratulations.
Ross: This a single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, 6 glasses.
Gunther: Six? You want me to join you?
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. Wow, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Quote from Phoebe
Ross: Hey Rach, so how did your thing go?
Rachel: Oh, good. Yeah. But I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Ross: Oh, you know what, you're gonna get it. I can feel it.
Phoebe: Can you?
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Here's to Ross.
Ross: And to years of hard work finally paying off.
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything.
Ross: But also knowing it means a lot.
Monica: But, more importantly, to full well-rounded lives.
Ross: That center around work.
Chandler: To Ross!
Quote from Ross
Ross: See, I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've- I've met him before?
Rachel: Ross, that's Mark. From Bloomingdales, you were insanely jealous of him.
Ross: That is Mark? I hate that guy!