Phoebe: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
Joey: Oh, I've been there.

Joey: I am gonna go drive my Porsche.
Monica: Joey, you know you don't actually have one.
Joey: Come on, what are you doing? I'm in character. Will you talk to her?

Phoebe: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Because, let's face it, we're at Monica's.

Phoebe: How do you feel?
Chandler: Well, let's just say, Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in 12 to 14 hours.

Joey: Careful around my Porsche.
Woman: Hi, Joey.
Joey: Hey. How you doin'?
Woman: He has the most amazing Porsche under there.
Joey: I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. Hey, would you girls like to go for a drink?
[A kid playing football crashes into Joey's "Porsche", revealing nothing but cardboard boxes under the car cover]

Joey: Someone left their keys. Ooh, to a Porsche. Hey, Gunther, are these yours?
Gunther: Yeah. That's what I drive. I make 4 bucks an hour. I have saved up for 350 years.
Joey: Nuh-uh.

Rachel: Ross, you know what, I just got- Why did you do this?
Ross: Look, I told you-
Rachel: I don't wanna hear "three failed marriages."
Ross: Look, if you'd had two failed marriages, you'd understand.
Rachel: Well, you know what, thanks to you, I'm halfway there.

Phoebe: So I totally took care of the babies all by myself. I fed them, bathed them and put them to bed.
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Monica: Oh, my God.
Phoebe: I know. The babies are asleep.
Monica: Phoebe, what happened here?
Phoebe: I did it. I took care of the babies all by myself.
Monica: But my apartment-
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.
Monica: But the mess.
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
Monica: You're right. You're right. I shouldn't freak out. Because this is what it'll be like when you and I have babies. When will that be?
Chandler: Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!

Rachel: Okay, do you see what you are keeping me married to?
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Rachel: All right, look, lady, here is the deal. I came here for an annulment, and I am not leaving here until I get one.
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
Rachel: Thank you for your time.

Judge: That's not the way the legal system works. This process is based on an objective review of the facts, not of the lies.
Rachel: Objection!
Judge: It doesn't work like that either.
Rachel: Overruled.
Ross: Oh, stop it.