Rachel: I don't even know how I would go about it.
Joey: Well, what I do is, I look a woman up and down, and I say "Hey. How you doin'?"
Phoebe: Oh, please.
Joey: Hey. How you doin'?
[Phoebe giggles]

Female Producer: Leonard, can we talk to you for a moment?
Leonard Hayes: Yes? You've got to be kidding. See, he can't act. Hey, I don't care if you think he's hot. You know, if you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play. No, listen. If you insist on this I will call my agent so fast on a cell phone that has a connection that is so clear, he's gonna think I'm next door.
Joey: Hi, thank you so much for whispering for my benefit. Look, if you just tell me what I did wrong. I'd love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. [to the female producer] And also, how you doin'?

Monica: Joey, why don't you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: There's a lost and found? My shoe!
Chandler: You left a shoe here?
Joey: Well, I didn't realize till I got home. And I wasn't gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe.

Joey: I figured if people keep seeing me just standing there, they're gonna start to think I don't own it. So I figure I'll wash it, right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh, yeah. I got soap and sponges and rags and carnauba wax and polishing compound.
Chandler: You don't even have a car.
Monica: I know. But one time there was this really dirty car parked in front of the building, so I washed it.
Chandler: And?
Monica: And six others.
Chandler: There you are.

Rachel: Ross didn't get the annulment. We are still married.
Monica: You are kidding?
Phoebe: Oh, my God!
Monica: Ross.
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision, but I just couldn't face another failed marriage.
Chandler: Let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?