Phoebe: Have you seen your guy's body?
Chandler: No. Our guy's just a floating head.

Joey: Well, that thing's clearly in the way. All right. Aha. Ow! Damn fridge.
Rachel: Hey, Joey. How ya doin'?
Joey: Great roomie.
Rachel: Yeah, I guess we are roommates now.
Joey: Yeah. I know. Well, now that you bring it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot, Rach.
Rachel: I'm not paying for half of that. I'm only staying here until my apartment gets fixed.
Joey: Look, Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born. Okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks. What does that tell ya?
Rachel: That refrigerators don't live as long as people?
Joey: All right, you know that the ATM only lets you take out $300 at a time, so l'll take a check for the other $100.
Rachel: You're jokin', right?
Joey: Of course I'm joking. I don't take checks.
Rachel: Thank God you're pretty.

Joey: So, anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Chandler: Is this a service you're providing me?
Joey: No, no, no. For my new fridge. For our new fridge.
Chandler: "Our" new fridge? I don't live here anymore.
Joey: So what? Look, okay, suppose we were a divorced couple.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid. Right? Now suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Gimme $400!

Rachel: There's a big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table so I kind of have to go.
Monica: What's the charity?
Rachel: I don't know. Something, either trees or disease. Ralph mumbles a lot.
Monica: Does Ralph mumble when you're not paying attention?
Rachel: Yeah. It's weird.

Rachel: But the thing is, I need to find a date.
Phoebe: Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Rachel: Someone that has his own tux or the ability to rent a tux.
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Joey: Ooh, so close.

Ross: Anyone else? Bring 'em on.
Rachel: Ooh. When's her birthday?
Ross: I don't know, Rachel. Why?
Rachel: Well, you know it's just been so long since I've been to Chuck E. Cheese.

Monica: I like Elizabeth.
Ross: Well, thanks.
Monica: In fact, I like her so much that you tell her I want my cookies early this year. You know, a box of Thin Mints and some Tagalongs.

Phoebe: I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take.
Chandler: That's so funny 'cause we found someone, too.
Phoebe: That's good. I guess she'll have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Phoebe: 'Cause that's just your taste.

Phoebe: Well, my guy is spectacular, okay? He's a massage client. And one time, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean, all of it.
Monica: You're not supposed to look.
Phoebe: Yeah, like there are police for that.

Monica: All right, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Phoebe: [scoffs] Chandler funny?