‘The One with All the Poker’
Season 1, Episode 18 - Aired March 2, 1995
Tired of being a waitress, Rachel applies for a job at Saks Fifth Avenue. After the boys introduce the girls to poker, they seek help from Monica's Aunt so they can beat the guys.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: I can't be a waitress anymore. I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called "Excuse Me."
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Rach, we're running low on resumes over here.
Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?
Chandler: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda's so great. Why won't you go out with her again?
Ross: I don't know.
Chandler: ls this still about her "The Flintstones could have really happened" thing?
Quote from Chandler
Ross: Joey cried last night.
Joey: Thank you.
Ross: We were playing poker-
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, all right.
Ross: Oh, God, you should have seen him. "Read them and weep!"
Chandler: And then he did.
Quote from Chandler
Rachel: Sorry to break up this party, but I've got to go fax resumes before work.
Chandler: Whoa, we've got to settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Chandler: The Jamestown colony of Virginia. See, King George is giving us the land.
Ross: The game, Rachel. The game. You owe us money for the game.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Let's play poker!
Joey: All right, listen, we talked about it and if you don't wanna play, we completely understand.
Chandler: Yes, we can play some other game. Like, I don't know, Pictionary? [The guys all duck down away from Monica.]
Monica: Very funny.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: It's so typical. "I'm a man! I have a penis! Ooh, I have to win money to exert my power over women!"
Quote from Monica
Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again. And we will win. And you will lose. And you will beg. And you will laugh. And we will take every last dime you have. And you will hate yourselves forever!
Rachel: Huh. Kind of stepped on my point there, Mon.
Quote from Rachel
Rachel: I see your $25 and ... Monica, get my purse.
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
Rachel: Okay, then get me your purse.
Quote from Ross
Ross: I am calling your 17. What do you got?
Rachel: Full house.
Ross: You got me.
Joey: That's all right. That's a tough hand to beat.
Chandler: I thought we had it!
Ross: Well, when you don't have the cards, you don't have the cards. But look how happy she is.
[Joey and Chandler try look at Ross's hand, he stops them looking at the cards]