Amy: Listen, let me do this. I really want to help you guys out. And plus, Rachel's been so wonderful to me.
Rachel: Absolutely.
Amy: Oh, great! So how much does it pay?

Monica: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That letter is gonna go in our file. We're never gonna get a kid. We're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds.

Amy: And I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Rachel: Yeah. You pierced her ears?
Amy: Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?
[Rachel gasps]

Rachel: You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?
Amy: Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been a surprise, now would it?

Rachel: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Amy: Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?

Rachel: All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life. And this is how you repay me?
Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me. Because I already know what I'm gonna do with my life.
Rachel: Oh, yeah? Since when?
Amy: Since today. I am going to be a baby stylist.
Rachel: What?
Ross: That's not a thing!
Amy: Well, it should be. I'm going to help babies learn how to accessorize what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming.
Rachel: Babies don't care if they're slim!
Amy: Enter Amy.

Rachel: Joey, get Amy's bags. She is moving out.
Joey: Woo-hoo!

Rachel: Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: She has a lot of crap!

Rachel: I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're- You're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
Amy: Thank you. You gotta admit, Emma does look cute.
Rachel: Did you just say, "Emma"?
Amy: Oh, I'm sorry. Ella.

Phoebe: That woman didn't know what she was talking about, Mike. Obviously, you have balls.