Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants, and I'm gonna die alone.
Chandler: By drowning or...?

Phoebe: Can you totally see through her shirt?
Mike: Like an x-ray.
Phoebe: Bad day not to wear a bra.

Joey: Look, it hurt so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow, and now they don't match.
Chandler: It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama.

Phoebe: Mon, not that you didn't sound good-
Monica: Good? Didn't you hear them? I was great. Thank you so much for making me do this. That is the best gift ever.
Mike: Also a good gift: Underwear.

Ross: That's Michelle.
Rachel: Who?
Ross: Oh, just this woman I've been seeing.
Rachel: You've been seeing someone?
Ross: Yeah, didn't I mention that? I mean, we haven't been going out too long but there's this amazing connection between us. I mean, in fact just before you came in, she called me her boyfriend. I thought it was a little too soon, but also, it felt kind of nice.
Michelle: What are you taking amoxicillin for?
Ross: How great is this? You're already comfortable enough to look through my stuff.

Chandler: And done.
Joey: Oh, my God. I didn't feel a thing. Hey, are you still looking for a job? Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.

Joey: They totally match. They look great. They look great. [admiring his reflection] How you doin'?

Chandler: Yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little bit worried I was uncovering a birthmark right about there but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.

Monica: For my next song, I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat, all right? Oh, ow about the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"? And make it bouncy.
Phoebe: Well, you can probably take care of that on your end.

Chandler: Are those my wife's nipples?
Phoebe: Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before. I wouldn't have let her go up again.
Chandler: I've got to stop this.
Monica: Oh, who cares? They still love me.
Chandler: You, touching yourself! Out!