Chandler: Ma'am, do you have a minute? I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa.
Ms. McKenna: What?
Chandler: Uh, it's a funny story, actually. I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning. So when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying.
Ms. McKenna: You fell asleep?
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting. Isn't that funny? Irony. Not a fan? All right. See, here's the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won't go. See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is Italy. Please don't make me go there.
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, l-
Chandler: No, look, Carol. Can I call you Carol? Why would I when your name is Elaine? What a great picture of your son. Strapping. That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it? Well, she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. I'll call you from Tulsa.

Ross: You know what, you can go. I just have to fill out some forms.
Joey: You want me to help you with that?
Ross: Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw?

Joey: All right, who do you want as your emergency contact?
Ross: Rachel, I guess.
Joey: Okay. Relationship? Ooh, boy, this could take a while.

Ross: Just put roommate.
Joey: Come on. You guys are more than that. I mean, you're gonna get together, right?
Ross: I don't think that we are.
Joey: But you two are supposed to be together.
Ross: Well, I thought so too. But then she said she'd marry you.
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything. She'd just had the baby. She was all freaked out about doing it alone. She would have said yes to anybody.
Ross: Yeah, that's what she said.
Joey: So?
Ross: So I don't want to be just anybody.
Joey: Wow.
Ross: You know what? It's better this way anyway. I mean, I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid.
Joey: Really?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: And you're okay with that?
Ross: Yes. I mean, that's what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it.
That's why they call them plans. Hello? I'm fine.
Joey: Hey, for what it's worth with Rachel, I don't think you'll ever be just "anybody."
Ross: Hey, there you go.
Joey: "Thanks".

Monica: She's asleep. I got her to go to sleep. I have actual magical powers.
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds. I can hear the voices in my head again. I'm kidding.

Phoebe: Thankfully, you don't need me at all. So okay. Hey, super aunt? See you later. Rachel? Let's give it six to eight months.

[Emma cries]
Ross: You want me to get that?
Rachel: No, that's really okay. Monica?
Monica: [emerging from the kitchen] Got it, got it, got it, got it.

Monica: All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Chandler: No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus.

Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
Rachel: That is right. And traditionally, the daddy is supposed to give the mommy a present. But I am prepared to let that go.

Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again you were engaged to my best friend?
Rachel: Well- Really? I thought Chandler was your best friend.
Ross: Well, Chandler's my oldest friend. Joey's my- No, nuh-uh.
Joey: Hey, I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to say goodbye.
Ross: Rachel said she'd marry you?
Joey: This isn't the right room. Sorry, folks.