Ross: Seriously, our sex life. I was thinking maybe, I don't know, we could try some new things, you know, for fun.
Carol: Like what?
Ross: Well, I don't know. What if we were to tie each other up? [coughs] Um, some people eat stuff off one another. Yeah. You know, we could try dirty talk. [nervous laugh] We could have a threesome.
Carol: I love that idea!

Chandler: Who sold a story to "Archie Comics"?
Monica: Oh, my God, that's so great. Oh, wow. You're a published writer. I wish I had a present for you. Wait a minute. My last Kit Kat bar. [Chandler tries to take the bar, but Monica won't let go]
Chandler: You want to share it?
Monica: Okay.

Rachel: Okay, Monica, I have to ask. Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment. Now, does he do this with a lot of girls?
Monica: Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot.
Rachel: Ah! [claps] And I'm one of them.

Phoebe: Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?
Ross: No, just relax. Nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure you were getting better.
Phoebe: Thank God.
Ross: Yeah, she's fired.

Monica: Maybe Joey doesn't have to give you any money. I mean, TV stars have assistants, right?
Joey: That's an idea. If I hire an assistant, would you take money from her?
Monica: No, Joey. Chandler could be your assistant.

Joey: Welcome aboard. Hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I don't need assistance in there, take a break.

Chandler: "Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans."
Monica: You realize what you are, don't you?
Chandler: What?
Monica: You're his bitch.