Susie: Remember the class play? You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants?
[Both laugh]
Chandler: Yes. Back then, I used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore.

Monica: So what'd he say?
Rachel: What a jerk. I kept talking about you, and he kept asking me out. Naturally, you know, I said no.
Monica: Thanks, anyway.
Rachel: He just kept asking and asking, asking, asking.
Monica: Rachel, if you want to go out with him, you can. He sounds like a bigjerk to me, but-
Rachel: Jean-Claude, she said yes. I'll see you tonight.

Rachel: Does anybody need anything?
Monica: I'll have an espresso. You know what, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll end up drinking it yourself.

Ross: Hey, Joey, I have to cancel racquetball for tonight. That was Marcel's trainer, he's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
Joey: You're blowing me off for a monkey?
Ross: We can reschedule for Saturday.
Joey: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.

Susie: We gotta go. We've got a reservation in 30 minutes.
Chandler: Oh, no. See, what I had planned shouldn't take more than two, three minutes, tops.

Susie: But here's an idea. Have you ever worn women's underwear?
Chandler: Well, yes, actually but they were my Aunt Edna's. And there were three of us in there.

Ross: Check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banana cake-
Joey: Ooh.
Ross: -with mealworm.
Joey: Argh.

Susie: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
Chandler: Because I went to an all-boys high school, and God is making up for it?

Monica: What are you gonna do?
Rachel: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.

Monica: I'll help you fix your sweater.
Rachel: I'll help you throw out your purse.