Joey: My first fan mail.
Monica: "Dear Dr. Ramoray: I love you and would do anything to have you." My gosh. "Your not-so-secret admirer, Erika Ford." Oh, wait. "P. S. Enclosed, please find fourteen of my eyelashes."
Rachel: You know, in Crazy World, that means you're married.

Monica: This wasn't addressed to Days Of Our Lives. This came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it. This woman was in our building.
Joey: Oh, my God. I got my very own stalker!

Erika: I don't understand. Why didn't you help that man?
Joey: Because I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of "foodal chokage."

Ross: Check it out. He actually is the Monkeyshine monkey.
Rachel: So what are you gonna you do?
Ross: I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find him.
Chandler: Well, that's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.

Ross: I tracked down Marcel and get this. He's healthy, he's happy and he's right here in New York filming Outbreak 2: The Virus Takes Manhattan.
Monica: You're kidding!
Joey: This is amazing.
Ross: I know.
Joey: I finally get a part on TV, and the monkey's making movies.

Ross: That commercial always makes me so sad.
Joey: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and girls run at him so everything works out okay.
Ross: I meant because of the monkey and it reminds me of Marcel.
Phoebe: I can see that. Yeah, because they both have those big brown eyes and the little pouty chin.
Monica: And the fact that they're both monkeys?

Ross: Remember when he'd borrow your hat and sometimes when you got it back, there'd be monkey raisins in it?
Chandler: Oh, sure. When he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. All of a sudden I had this big "attitude problem."

Rob Donan: Anyway, I schedule performers for children's libraries around the city. And I was thinking, have you thought about playing your songs for kids?
Phoebe: Oh, I would love to have kids- Hear me play the songs that I will write for them.

Monica: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What is she like?
Chandler: Well, you remember Kathy Bates in Misery? Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.

Phoebe: I'm used to playing for grownups. Grownups drink their coffee and do their grownup thing. And kids Iisten. It's just a huge responsibility.