Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

Amy: Listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything because you know, you'd be dead. But I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.
Ross: Emma.
Amy: Emma, Ross wants you.
Phoebe: Phoebe!
Amy: Why does she keep making that noise?

Joey: All right, look. If this is a big joke to you, forget about it. This means something to me.
If it doesn't mean anything to you, then get out of there. Otherwise, you're just an idiot in a box.
Chandler: You're right. I'm sorry. This means a lot to me. I want to be friends again. I swear I won't say another word.
Joey: So you'll take this seriously?
Chandler: Absolutely.
Joey: That sounds like another word to me. Are you going to take this seriously? [silence] Okay.

Monica: Fine. Judge all you want to. But married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, lives in a box.

Chandler: Okay, did any of you pick Rachel for your Secret Santa? Because I want to trade for her.
Phoebe: I picked her. Oh, thank God you want her.
Chandler: Wow. Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she gets. It's, like, impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade.
Chandler: Well, that's not true. That's not true. I got her that backpack and she loved it. I remember she cried when that big dog ran off with- There was no big dog. All right, this sucks. I already got her a briefcase with "R.G." put on it. Her initials.