TV Quotes

Frasier: To the park!
Martin: This time we'll comb every inch of that place. Every tree, every bush. Uh, Daphne, we're gonna need more help, so call Niles and tell him we'll pick him up.
Frasier: Oh, yes, wouldn't want to go out in the wild without one of the world's great outdoorsmen!

Martin: What the hell are you doing?
Daphne: Ironing your son's socks.
Martin: Why don't you just twist them into little balls like you do mine?
Daphne: He says it bruises the cashmere. He likes them pressed, folded, then neatly arranged in those sock dividers. I saw them in a catalog once, but couldn't imagine who in the world would ever buy such silly things. Of course, I hadn't met Dr. Crane yet.
Martin: I used to think there'd been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. Of course, when Niles came along it shot that theory all to hell.

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!