Niles Quote #218
Niles: Oh, dear God, he's licking me!
Frasier: Eddie, just stop. Oh, Niles, you have liver behind your ears.
Niles: I imagine I must have picked up a cracker and inadvertently scratched behind my ear.
Frasier: So you're telling me that you had a wad of cold meat behind your ears and didn't feel it?
Niles: That's the story I'm sticking with, yes.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: To the park!
Martin: This time we'll comb every inch of that place. Every tree, every bush. Uh, Daphne, we're gonna need more help, so call Niles and tell him we'll pick him up.
Frasier: Oh, yes, wouldn't want to go out in the wild without one of the world's great outdoorsmen!
Quote from Martin
Martin: What the hell are you doing?
Daphne: Ironing your son's socks.
Martin: Why don't you just twist them into little balls like you do mine?
Daphne: He says it bruises the cashmere. He likes them pressed, folded, then neatly arranged in those sock dividers. I saw them in a catalog once, but couldn't imagine who in the world would ever buy such silly things. Of course, I hadn't met Dr. Crane yet.
Martin: I used to think there'd been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. Of course, when Niles came along it shot that theory all to hell.
Quote from To Tell the Truth
Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!
Quote from Frasier Grinch
Frasier: Dad, I'm sorry, if Frederick's anything like me, the kind of toys he'll like to play with are... A kitchen set, a dollhouse and three kinds of Barbies. Oh, good God. This is for a Franklin Crane from Kennebunkport. Oh, God, do you realize what this means?
Niles: Yes. The Cranes of Maine have got your Living Brain.