Dr. Ling: Now in just a few moments, we'll be ready to wheel you down to the OR.
Frasier: He'll receive general anesthesia once he's on the operating table. Now, if you'd like to follow along in your handouts, I could take you through the first steps of the procedure.
Daphne: The doctor explained everything to us yesterday.
Frasier: Yes, but did he have a mnemonic verse that goes along to the tune of "Camp Town Races"?

Dr. Schafer: [to Niles] Well, once you're under, we'll begin by inserting some tubes to monitor your blood pressure. Then, while one team harvests the saphenous vein from your right leg, I'll be opening up your chest.
Frasier: Excuse me. If I may, wouldn't a mid-cab be less invasive? I have done some research in the matter and I believe that is the prevailing methodology.
Dr. Schafer: Well, you may have read about that in Reader's Digest, but a mid-cab is only appropriate for a limited blockage.
Frasier: My source is not Reader's Digest. It is a Harvard colleague. Harvard being my alma mater. Harvard! And if I'm not mistaken, the blockage is in the left anterior descending artery.
Dr. Schafer: And the right coronary. Look, in my expert opinion, I'm doing what's best for this patient.
Frasier: And my expert opinion says otherwise.
Dr. Schafer: Well, if you're such an expert, maybe you should perform the surgery.
Frasier: Maybe I should!
Niles: Dad!
Martin: Frasier, you're not operating on your brother.

Roz: This is so weird. I mean, twenty-four hours ago, we didn't even know anything was wrong with Niles. It just goes to show, you can't take a second for granted.
Martin: You sure can't. You can't take people for granted, either. You just never know.
Frasier: That's true. That's why you should always tell the people you love just how much they mean to you.
Roz: Well, I hope you guys know how much I care about you.
Martin: Oh, geez, sure we do. And we care about you, too.
Frasier: Of course, Roz, you're like family. And Dad, I hope you know I love you. Even at your most difficult.
Martin: Well, I love you too, son, even when you treat me like a child.

Daphne: How you feeling?
Niles: I'm a little woozy. Maybe I should lie down. Oh, now Daphne, you know all the important papers are in my top left hand drawer...
Daphne: Let's not talk about that right now. You just relax.
Niles: Okay, Daphne. You know, Daphne, they do these procedures hundreds of times.
Daphne: I know.
Niles: Okay. It's practically routine, Daphne.
Daphne: Why do you keep saying my name?
Niles: I just want to say it as many times as I can... Daphne.

Martin: What? Still in bed? Will you look at this goldbrick? Well, if you're gonna be loafing around all day, you might as well have something to read. I know how you love your Archies.
Niles: Thanks, Dad. Oh, a Jughead Double Digest.
Martin: I'll be here waiting for you. I love you, Son.
Niles: I love you, too.

Niles: Frasier, I have a confession to make. Remember when we were kids and I was wearing your opera cape and you pushed me down the stairs?
Frasier: Yes.
Niles: You didn't push me. I jumped. I was trying to fly like a Valkyrie.

Niles: Daphne, Daphne, Daphne, Daphne, Daphne, Daphne...
Orderly: Okay, you ready to take a little trip?
Frasier: I think he already is.
Daphne: Can I just have a second?
Orderly: Of course.
Daphne: I'll be here when you wake up.
Niles: Promise?
Daphne: I promise.

Martin: How come these places never have any magazines for men? It's all hairdos and recipes and butt exercises.
Frasier: I was just thinking about what Niles said about the hospital and the things that happen here.
Martin: Oh, geez, would you look at this: "Ten Saucy Secrets to Please Him in Bed." You know damn well there are only four. The rest are just do-si-dos.
Frasier: It's like the whole tapestry of life keeps replaying itself in these four walls.
Martin: I used to bust people for that one.
Frasier: You didn't hear a word I said, did you?
Martin: Yeah, I did. Hospital, tapestry of life... Whoa! That's a nice kitchen.

Daphne: I don't think I've ever been this frightened in my whole life.
Frasier: Well, Daph, according to my timetable, Niles is probably off the bypass pump by now, all the blockages have been bypassed, and the myocardium is now receiving normal blood.
Martin: How can you know all this but you're stumped by an electric barbecue fork?
Frasier: Because the human heart was not designed by some idiot in Japan.

Roz: You know, Frasier, maybe now is not the perfect time to go into detail.
Daphne: It's all right, Roz.
Frasier: You see, she knows. Knowledge is our ally against anxiety. Which happens to be the theme of today's "Best of Crane", which is being broadcast over the airwaves right this moment.
Roz: Oh yeah, they're piping it into the operating room instead of using anesthesia.
Frasier: Very funny, Roz.
Roz: Oh, I hope the doctors have their earplugs in so they don't fall asleep too.
Frasier: All right, we get it.
Roz: Seriously, if I was ever gonna rob a bank and wanted to knock out the guards.
Frasier: All right, Roz.