Martin: God, she looks just like your mother.
Niles: I know, and Frasier doesn't see it.
Martin: You're kidding?
Niles: No, and he has the gall to tell me I'm blind. He's clearly the one dealing with repressed material, not to mention the obvious Oedipal issues.
Martin: Argle gargle, google goo.
Niles: What?
Martin: Now you know how it feels. What are you talking about?

Niles: Oh but. Dad, don't forgot to pack some sturdy knee socks. I should get some for myself. You remember the insect situation at the cabin.
Frasier: Good Lord, Niles, not this bug phobia of yours.
Niles: It's not a phobia. The mosquitoes up there are huge. My first summer I was chased off the end of the dock by one the size of a pelican.

Mia: I baked some fat-free goodies for your trip. Oh, where's the kitchen?
Frasier: Right this way.
Mia: And there's a ton of muffins if anybody wants one.
Niles: Oh, not for me, I have some problems with allergies.
Mia: Really? Well these are just wheat germ, oat bran and carob.
Niles: Oh, well, throw in a sea scallop, you can phone the paramedics right now.

Martin: Look at this fireplace. Your mom and I used to sit in front of the fire here holding hands. I wonder if that... [lifts up rug] Oh, yeah. It's still here. That graffiti that you scratched into the floor.
Niles: That's not graffiti, Dad. That's a Latin pun. "Semper Ubi Sub Ubi" - "Always Where Under Where".

Martin: They're for the trip. I'm nearly done packing. I just gotta get my fly mast and my tackle box, and there's one more thing...
Frasier: Yes, well, we're taking off in a few hours so dépêche-toi!
Martin: Oh, yeah, earplugs for the car ride up.

Niles: Hello, all. [sees Martin] Well, there's a faux-pas averted. I almost wore my big rubber pants today.

Martin: What the hell's the matter with you?
Niles: Oh, I'm sorry. Dad, you can't expect me to let him sit there in his booster seat and tell me I lack self-awareness.
Martin: He's going to pick up on what you're saying. Do you want the whole thing to blow up?
Niles: Dad, this level of denial is unhealthy.
Martin: We're not in denial! Everything's perfect! This is the best birthday I've ever had!

Frasier: No, I was staring at you.
Mia: You were?
Frasier: Gosh, I know this may seem awfully bold of me. I'm not the sort of man who hits on every woman he sees.
Francesca: Excuse me. Hi, your friend said you wanted to know if I was single. It's okay, you don't have to be embarrassed.
Mia: Yes, he does.
Frasier: There's been a little mistake. You see, I asked my friend to approach this [points to Mia] lovely woman
and she obviously mistook you for the woman I meant. Well, that's certainly understandable, seeing as you're lovely as well. See, it's just that at this moment, well... Many apologies. [to Mia] Gosh, I'm sorry, let me start again. I'm Frasier Crane.
Jessica: Oh, you're Frasier. Hi, I'm Jessica, Roz's friend.
Frasier: Jessica.
Jessica: Roz thought we might hit it off.
Frasier: Indeed we might have, you see, if not for the fact I've just met this woman, to whom I'd be to glad to introduce you, except I don't know what her name is. So, you know, Roz can explain all this. She's sitting over there next to that scowling woman.

Frasier: Gosh, you know, you must think I'm some sort of a smooth operator.
Mia: No, not really.

Martin: Where's Fras?
Daphne: He's probably off somewhere with that Mia.
Martin: Oh, yeah, it seems to be getting serious, huh? You know, it's funny, you can always tell. He starts using French words for no reason.
Daphne: Yeah, and that laugh, the giddy one,