Daphne: So, Dr. Crane, when do we finally get to meet this new girlfriend of yours?
Frasier: Oh, Mia? She's on her way over right now, actually. She's going to take me out to buy some new trousers. You see, with this new diet she's got me on, I've lost my love handles. Just when I needed them most. [giddy laugh]

Frasier: Well, nice going, Niles!
Mia: What happened?
Frasier: Niles dropped a huge log right onto my hand when he was startled by a moth.
Niles: It was not a moth, it was a bat. I could tell from that eerie high-pitched scream.
Frasier: That was you!

Frasier: You know, frankly, I wish you'd start seeing someone about this bug phobia of yours.
Niles: It is not a phobia. I have a healthy fear of our natural predators. It's us versus them, and frankly I'm starting to wonder just whose side you're on.

Martin: So, what's coming up next for you, Mia?
Mia: Well, I'll have to swear you to secrecy.
Martin: All right.
Mia: It looks like that Panda might just find its way into the attic.
Niles: Yes, Mum's the word.
[Martin "accidentally" pours his glass over wine over Niles]
Martin: Oh, sorry, Niles. Would you maybe come into the kitchen and I'll just help you get dried off in there, all right?
Niles: Yes. Oh dear, it looks like these pants may have to be repressed.

Frasier: Oh, dear God. Do you two see what I see? My God, they could be twins.
Martin: Now Frasier, take it easy...
Frasier: You do see it? How could you miss it? How could I miss it?
Martin: Just, uh, calm him down and I'll go get him a drink of water.
Frasier: Oh, my God.
Niles: Frasier. Frasier, the important thing is not to blow this out of proportion. After all... [Niles ducks] Dear God, what was that, a hummingbird?

Frasier: What is the matter with me?
[Niles searches for his bug spray]
Niles: Frasier, you didn't do anything wrong. Your feelings for Mia stem from perfectly natural Oedipal desires.
Frasier: Yes, but Oedipal desires are supposed to resolve themselves by the age of six!
[Niles starts spraying his bug spray. Fed up, Frasier takes it off him but sprays himself in the eyes]
Frasier: Oh, for God's sake, give me that, you idiot. [screams] I've blinded myself!

Martin: Fras, isn't it great to be back here? You know, I want to thank you guys, this is some gift.
Frasier: You're welcome, Dad. Listen, if you're enjoying this little trip down memory lane, wait until you see the other blast from the past we brought up here.
[As Frasier and Niles go into the kitchen, Mia enters the cabin:]
Mia: Martin? Hi. It's Mia. Oh my gosh, Frasier did tell you I was coming, didn't he?
Martin: Oh, yeah. Of course he did. Yeah, well, nice meeting you.
Mia: It's very nice to meet you. Well, it's so beautiful here.
Martin: I'm glad you like it.
Mia: Are you kidding? I feel like I'm in heaven.
Martin: I'm starting to feel that way myself.

Niles: I'm talking about Freud's theory of the "Oedipus Complex." He believed that every man subconsciously wants to sleep with his mother and kill his father. It's modeled on the Greek tragedy of Oedipus, who actually did sleep with his mother and kill his father, and when he realized what he'd done he gouged out both his eyes.
Martin: Probably not too tough to pick that guy out of a line-up.

Frasier: Well, all right. You know Niles, not to dwell on this, but you know, I could give you the number of a man who specializes in bug phobias.
Niles: Oh, is that so.
Frasier: Frankly, while you're at it, I think you should talk to him about your compulsive chair dusting, I believe that is related.
Martin: Frasier!
Frasier: Well, I'm sorry, Dad, I think a good psychiatrist should be self-aware.
Mia: [feeding Frasier a piece of meat] Open wide!
Niles: So you're saying I lack self-awareness?
Martin: Why don't we change the subject, all right? This is a great meal, Mia.
Niles: It certainly was. Frasier, when it comes to girlfriends, you've certainly struck the mother lode.
Martin: Niles!
Frasier: You haven't even read her books yet, Dad, it's a delightful series about an adventurous little panda.
Niles: It sounds worthy of Mother Goose!

Frasier: I used to read it to my son. You know, many is the quart of milk we've poured in the back yard waiting for the Oreo Tree to grow. Gosh, you know I'd love to take you to lunch, sometime.
Mia: Lunch? Um, I...
Frasier: Well, all right, coffee? Anything. I'd just like a chance to get you know you better.
Mia: Well, okay. You're certainly persistent.
Frasier: Well, as a wise woman once wrote, "No cookie jar is up too high for a panda who will try and try."
Mia: Now you're scaring me.