Hank: Here, let me take your coats.
Frank: Don't go too far with those.
Robert: Dad, be a person.

Pat: And children, we also have the MacDougall family Thanksgiving pageant.
Frank: The- The MacDougall... what?
Robert: Oh, did I forget to mention that? This is fun. Listen to this. This is great.
Amy: When Peter and I were kids we used to put on a play about the first Thanksgiving. And we thought
that since Ally and the boys were coming this year, we could try it again. Doesn't that sound like fun, kids? [the twins are silent]
Ray: You don't even have like a little emergency TV?
Hank: The kids can play most of the parts, and Peter will reprise his role as...
Peter: Squanto.
Pat: All right, children, if you want to follow me, I have costumes and decorations. [the kids are still] And candy. [the kids run off with Pat]

Pat: I've got pastry puffs.
Amy: Oh... Hey, Mom, Dad and Frank are talking about naps.
Pat: Oh, that's wonderful.
Frank: Do yourself a favor, Hank, try a nap in the chair sometime.
Hank: I might just do that after dinner.
Frank: There you go!

Ally: Mom! The boys are putting glue in each other's hair.
Amy: Oh, no!
Debra: I'm surprised it took 'em this long. Okay, sweetie, Mommy'll help you stick 'em to the wall.

Robert: How great is this? Isn't this great? It's like a family.
Pat: I have more appetizers in the kitchen.
Marie: I'll come with you. I wanna see what else we have to look forward to.
Ray: Don't put glue in each other's hair.

Robert: What was that?
Ray: Sounded like something hit the house. Oh. It's a bird.
Peter: Ah, it must've flown into the window.
Ray: Oh, man. It's hurt.
Marie: Oh, what do we do?
Frank: Don't squeeze it. Be careful.
Peter: Don't worry. I got it.
Frank: Don't hold it too tight. I know birds. I build birdhouses.
Pat: May I see it? Oh my. Let me help you.

Ray: What's this?
Debra: Isn't this great? There's a part for everybody in the play.
Frank: Not me. Forget it.
Ally: But, Grandpa, you're the Indian chief.
Hank: I see no reason why he should be involved in our play.
Frank: Oh, you don't want me in your play? [puts on hat]

Debra: What's going on? What's happening?
Ray: No TV.

Debra: Marie, we thought you'd be a Pilgrim, so if you'll just take the hat.
Pat: Maybe the pageant isn't such a good idea today.
Debra: What do you mean? It's Thanksgiving!
Robert: Let's just forget it.
Debra: No! I don't know what's going on here, but certain people in this room are very excited about doing this play, okay? So we're gonna do it.
Marie: Debra, you--
Debra: Dih-dih-dih-dih! We're doing the play. Kids, let's go. Ally, sweetie.

Ally: "A Native American named Squanto came to the Pilgrim village."
Ray: "My name is Squanto."
Peter: Ooh! Riveting!
Ray: "My name is Squanto. I come in peace."
Hank: "Hello."
Ray: Hey. Oh. "Hey. Hi. I'll show you how to live off this land."
Ally: "Squanto taught the Pilgrims how to catch fish."
Peter: Is anybody buying this guy as Squanto?
Marie: You leave him alone. He hasn't had a chance to exercise lately.
Debra: "Can you also teach us to plant corn and forage for berries?"
Ray: "Yes, I can." Oh, hey.