Peter: Uh, Mama, what are you working on here?
Pat: Oh, just tidying up a bit.
Peter: Yeah, Mama, but these are all my Foghat albums. What are you doing touching these?
Hank: Pat, you won't believe the filth he's got down there. Have you ever heard of something called "Mad Magazine"? [looks up] Oh, Peter.
Peter: My stuff! What are you doing touching my stuff?!
Hank: Well, you see, Peter, we're sort of reconsidering the layout of the basement.
Peter: What do you mean?
Pat: How it would lay out if you were... gone.

Peter: So, wait a second. I take off for a week, and you're moving me out?
Hank: We're changing the basement into a prayer-and-Bible-study room.
Peter: What?!
Hank: Well, Peter, when you said New York was your lady, we were a little concerned, but then we sort of got used to the idea.
Pat: And as time went by, we thought, "Our boy's growing up. He's ready to be on his own."
Hank: Good luck, son.

Amy: What happened?
Ray: Well, your father said they're going to turn his room into a prayer chamber or something.
Frank: Now, why doesn't that guy just put a steeple on his roof and call it a day?

Robert: Rough night, huh?
Peter: Oh, yeah, yeah. I heard you all in there laughing.
Robert: I wasn't laughing.
Peter: Oh, yeah right.
Robert: Listen, Peter, I know what you're going through.
Peter: No, you don't. Do you know that if I had come home 10 minutes later, I would've had to go through the garbage to find my blueprints to the Batcave?
Robert: Well, I wasn't out of my folks' house 10 minutes before my dad started putting in a Jacuzzi where my bed used to be.
Peter: They put in a Jacuzzi? Well, your parents are cool.
Robert: Come look at 'em use it. Not so cool.

Amy: And, Peter, coming all the way from Pennsylvania just to help us move a couch.
Peter: Hey, any day out of Mom and Dad's house is a good day. And you know what? Everyone on the bus really loved my harmonica. They clapped when I got off.

Ray: All right. Thank you. You got one of those seats that keeps falling down. Don't worry, though. It all worked out.
Peter: [to Hank & Pat] You're the worst parents in the whole world!
Ray: Okay. Good night. [heads for the door]
Peter: Wait, Ray! You know something? I don't need to live here anymore! I'll just go where I'm appreciated, okay? And I hope Jesus does a good job mowing the lawn! Ray, give me a hand with these, will you? Thanks.
Ray: What happened? What's going on? Where's he going?
[cut to a horrified Ray in the car with Peter and his cat]

Frank: You put the fruitcake back in the box?
Ray: Yeah, but turns out nobody likes fruitcake.

Amy: I can't believe it. They said that he's a grown man and he should get on with his life.
Ray: So now he's here to end ours.

Amy: I am impressed. You guys are so manly!
Ray: Hurry up! I think I broke a nail!
Peter: Oh! This burns! Awesome!
Robert: Okay, you know where I was thinking we could put this?
Ray: How about right here? [Ray & Peter drop the couch]
Robert: Good.
Amy: Thanks so much for doing this, you guys. And you both know if you ever need anything moved, you can always call Robert.
Ray: It's good to be married, isn't it?

Peter: Well, good morning there, brother man!
Robert: Hey.
Peter: Why don't you come on over and have a seat? You know, I figured since I made raspberry waffles yesterday that we should probably go low carb, Officer Belly. Oh, so did you sleep all right?
Robert: Not especially.
Peter: I was out like a puppy in a pickup truck. I gotta tell you, that sofa is more comfortable than my own bed.
Robert: Mother of God!