Debra: Look, this isn't easy for me to talk about, either.
Ray: How bad is this?
Debra: No, it's not bad, and it's not just you.
Ray: Who else?
Debra: Me! Ray, it's about us. Listen. Just listen. I need more variety.
Ray: Variety? You need variety? I got that. I was worried you were going to mention my... Well, why bring it up? But variety? I am variety. I'm Ed Sullivan. Variety. Wasn't I the guy who came into the bedroom with the cowboy hat on, uh? How about the time I was the fireman and you were the burning sorority house?
Debra: Well, I mean, by variety, I mean... Look, the cowboy and the fireman are fun, but once they take their hats off, they're pretty much the same.
Ray: What do you mean?
Debra: I need them to be less selfish.

Marie: Oh, Raymond. Another sex game?
Ray: What are you talking about?
Marie: Well, it's like the other one you had when you were younger, with all the colored dots.
Ray: Twister?
Marie: Don't think I didn't know what was going on downstairs.
Ray: What? I played with Robert.
Frank: I don't want to hear any more.

Debra: [yawns] Oh, God, I'm exhausted. Oh! I could fall asleep right here.
Ray: All right, okay. I get it.
Debra: Get what?
Ray: You don't got to do the whole "I'm tired" show. Don't worry. I will not be bothering you this evening.
Debra: Wait a minute. You think this is an act so I won't have to have sex with you?
Ray: Not much of an act. You could jazz it up with a song or two. And- And by the way, I wasn't gonna do anything later anyway, okay, so you don't got to insult me with your preemptive strike.
Debra: You're nuts.
Ray: Admit it. You came in here to tell me you were tired so I would leave you alone later.
Debra: I did not!
Ray: Why can't you admit it? Look, you're tired, right? You had a long day. So, what's the last thing you would want to do later?
Debra: Well, you might be right about that.
Ray: Huh, see? I know. I know when people don't want to have sex with me. You're talkin' to an expert.
Debra: Okay, so let me ask you this how come you're only picking up that "I'm tired" means "no sex tonight"? How come "I'm tired" doesn't also mean, "Gee, I could really use some help in the kitchen with all those dishes"?
Ray: What am I, a mind reader?

Ray: How's your book?
Debra: It's really great.
Ray: Yeah?
Debra: Yeah, it takes place in the 19th century-
Ray: That's very interesting.
Debra: Ray! What are you doing?
Ray: What? You're up.
Debra: So what?
Ray: So, I-I come in here, you're up, you're in a good mood, you're not too tired.
Debra: Who says I'm not too tired? All I'm doing is reading.
Ray: So you could stay up to read, but you can't spare two minutes for sex?

Frank: What else you got?
Marie: You finished that?
Frank: Yep.
Robert: And now we wait.

Marie: What did you buy, Raymond?
Ray: Oh, uh... No, it's nothing.
Robert: Oh, something sensitive.
Frank: What is it?
Ray: No, it's just shirts.
Marie: You bought shirts? By yourself?
Ray: Yes.
Robert: Let's see these... "shirts".
Ray: I would not be comfortable with that, all right?
Frank: Why the hell not?
Ray: Because, they're undershirts.

Robert: I sure hope you're better at this than you were at Twister. As I remember, you had no flexibility at all.
Poor Debra.

Debra: Hey.
Ray: Hey.
Debra: What's up?
Ray: Mom!
Marie: Whatever you do in your bedroom is your business.
Debra: "Sensuopoly"?
Marie: It's not from me. It's from him.

Frank: Listen, sweetheart everybody's making a big fuss over nothing. Now, I looked at the back of the box, and from what I could see... [holds stomach] To be continued. [rushes out]

Debra: Okay, here's the directions. I've already read them.
Ray: Hey, I don't need directions. I mean, it's been a while, but I remember.
Debra: So, it's pretty simple. You just roll the dice, and you do whatever it says on the square you land on. Now, some of the squares are naughty...
Ray: Hang on. [closes the curtains] Go ahead.
Debra: And some are romantic.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Debra: So, I'll go first. This is me, that's you.
Ray: All right, come on, buddy, put your game face on.