Marie: Here, one of you try this.
Robert: [eats] Oh, God! This is awful!
Marie: I thought so. It's Debra's. It's gone bad. Although, with Debra, it probably didn't have far to go.

Marie: This game must be Debra's doing.
Ray: Well, it's not.
Marie: I should have guessed when I opened the fridge with two bottles of white wine? Are you swingers?
Ray: All right, Ma. You just asked if I was a wife-swapper.
Frank: Now, there's an idea. I don't even have to swap. I'll just make a donation.

Marie: Oh, hello, Raymond.
Ray: Ma, what are you doing?
Marie: I'm cleaning your fridge. I thought it was just one item, but once I opened it... Well, dear, it's not good news.

Ray: Now, hold on. Hold on. I am not selfish! I am not selfish! If there's anything you want, anything I do it! You want me to be more flexible I'm flexing! You want me to talk in an accent? "You go' it, guv'ner." Come on, just tell me what you want. What do you want?
Debra: I want...
Ray: What?
Debra: See, this is what I'm talking about. Why should I have to tell you what I want?
Ray: So I will know.
Debra: Do you know how depressing that is, that after 12 years, you don't know? Why do I have to say it out loud? Why haven't you been paying attention?
Ray: What do you mean, paying attention?
Debra: Oh, you only seem to pick up the signals that affect you. Like, you know what "I'm tired" means, because it means no fun for Raymond. But if I give you the "go" signal, then you just stop paying attention. I could shoot off a flare in here, and you wouldn't even notice.

Marie: Are you trying to hide something?
Ray: Mind your business, Ma.
Frank: "Sensuopoly"? "The board game of love and intimacy."
Ray: It's a gag gift that I got for a friend of mine who loves gags.
Robert: Oh, really? And who is this lover of gags? Would his name start with an "R" and end with an "aymond," hmm?

Debra: Look, I'm sorry, Ray, okay? It's not like I'm trying to trick you. I am tired, and I thought I would do a little reading before I fell asleep.
Ray: All right. There are other things we could do a little before we both fall asleep. I mean, we're not talkin' about runnin' a marathon here. We were just going to roll around a little, you know? I find it very relaxing and restful, but what the hell do I know? You go ahead, go ahead-
Debra: Ray, come on.
Ray: If a book about the 19th century doesn't put you to sleep, how tired can you be?
Ray: So what you're saying is that you would rather read?
Debra: Tonight yes.
Ray: Do me a favor, if there's people having sex in that book, could you read out loud?

Frank: Wait a minute. Let me see that. [eats] You're right. This is not good. [continues eating] The underpart's a little better.
Robert: What is it?
Frank: I don't know. It's got a crunch, but I don't think that's on purpose.

Marie: No, you should close your curtains, too. You never know who's looking into the windows.
Ray: I got a pretty good idea.

Ray: Listen, sorry about the embarrassment today with the game and all. I went to the store to try to buy you a funny card you know, 'cause of last night. But they're not funny, they're just stupid. There's one funny one. The old guy with no teeth like this... But, yeah, I couldn't remember if I got you that for Valentine's Day or not, so you know, so I guess I got you that game just to say you know, "ha ha."
Debra: It's okay, Ray. Come on, let's go play.
Ray: What? What?!
[Ray quickly rubs some toothpaste in his mouth, sprays some deodorant and spins through it as he rushes to the bedroom]
Ray: You really want to play this? Even though my mother knows we have it?
Debra: We already got the guilt. We might as well have the fun.
Ray: Well, all right!

Debra: Why did you buy the game, Ray, huh? That's what I really don't understand. Why did you buy it if you didn't want to play?
Ray: I thought it would be fun. It's got something for both of us. Sex for me, reading for you.
Debra: You really have no idea what this game is for, do you?
Ray: Yes, I have an idea. The game is to get you in the mood. Remember the mood?
Debra: No, this game is not about my mood. This game is supposed to improve our sex life.
Ray: Yeah, well, then I got the wrong game. I should've got the game that gets you to have a sex life.
Debra: Oh, yes, you're the poor sex-starved husband.
Ray: Yeah, and you're the poor put-upon wife who doesn't get any romance.