Chris: What happened?
Greg: Look, there's nothing to worry about.
Janitor: You sure about that?
Greg: Yeah. I mean, I know that there are people that would be very upset if they were ever implicated in any way in my accidental car accident.
Chris: Yeah, and if we knew anything, which we don't, we wouldn't talk, which we haven't.

Coach Brantley: There you are. Can you believe this?
Janitor: Yeah uh, no, no. What happened in there?
Coach Brantley: It's crazy. These cops, they drag me down here, talking about I ran some kid over outside the school. That's nuts. I got a nice ride. I want to hit a kid, I'll punch him in the face, I'm not gonna dent my car.
Janitor: You know, those cops are crazy, cuz. They bring you down here for nothing. Twenty-nine times I get arrested. For nothing.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You and DMX.
Coach Brantley: Yeah, it's crazy. What are you guys doing here?
Greg: I don't know.
Chris: We're here with my mom. She's thinking about applying for a job as a crossing guard.
Greg: Yeah.
Coach Brantley: Well, if kids are getting run over outside the school, they need one.
Chris: We got to go.

Chris: Yeah, he's right, that's not him.
Rochelle: Boy, I thought you said you didn't see anything.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, dummy.
Chris: Oh, now that I think about it, it's kind of all coming back. As I came around the corner, I think I might have caught a glimpse of the driver.
Detective Marino: Well, let's get you with the sketch artist.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Jesse from All My Children, you're next.

Rochelle: So, what, uh, does this mean that Kristoff St. John is innocent?
Detective Marino: I'm afraid so.
Rochelle: Hold on a moment, Greg. [Rochelle knocks Greg over] Kristoff! Can I get your autograph?! I am your biggest fan!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father's spring break had gotten rained out, and my mother was enjoying being stretched out.
Rochelle: [answers phone] Hello?
Julius: Rochelle, it's me.
Rochelle: Hey, baby. What's wrong?
Julius: It's been raining ever since we got here, that's what's wrong. This is the worst vacation ever.
Rochelle: Oh, baby, that's too bad.
Julius: I feel like packing up and coming home tonight.
Rochelle: Mmm. Mmm. No, no, no, no. No, no, don't do that.
Julius: Why not?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Because she's on vacation from you.
Rochelle: Well, maybe you should travel during the day when it clears. And I-I'm sure the kids are having a great time.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She's on vacation from them, too.

Tonya: Dad, there's something wrong with the sea turtle you got me.
Drew: It's not a sea turtle; it's a tortoise.
Julius: Turtle, tortoise... You know how hard it was for me to catch that thing?
Tonya: Well, it couldn't have been moving that fast.

Detective Marino: Ah, good. We found that guy you described.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Oh, no, the cops got Jesse!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I did what I could so nobody got taken down, and in the end, I got caught up.
Chris: This is bad. I can't let some guy go to jail for what I did. I got to turn myself in.
Greg: Hang on, Chris. Let's think about this. If you turn yourself in, you'll go to jail for hitting me, the janitor will go back to prison for leaving the scene of a crime, and I'll go to jail for lying to the police.
Chris: What about the guy they arrested, huh? Do we just let his life get ruined and we go about with our happy lives?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wouldn't call it happy, but I know what you mean.
Greg: Yes.

Detective Marino: Chris, the city of New York owes you a debt of gratitude. Your description of Greg's hit and run assailant led us to the Uncle of Sam.
Rochelle: The serial choker?
Detective Marino: Yes, ma'am, but he was escalating. He went from choking to plowing down. Who knows what was next? You're a brave kid, Chris.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, I'm not.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While the Uncle of Sam got sent up the river, my father drove home in the rain.
[As Julius pulls up outside the house, the rain clears and the clouds break]
Julius: Ain't this about a...