Adult Chris: [v.o.] When they found out I was in the hospital, Tonya and Drew were devastated.
Tonya: Chris got sick now we can't get anything for Christmas.
Drew: Man, we were good for nothing.
Rochelle: No, you were good because you were supposed to be good. I mean, what if there were no Christmas? Would you be running around here starting forest fires?
Drew & Tonya: No.

Greg: Merry Christmas!
Chris: Hey, man, what are you doing here?
Greg: Well, since it's Christmas Eve, I wanted to give you your present. But when I called your dad, he said you were here. Here's your gift. It's baseball cards.
Chris: Baseball cards?! Where did you get baseball cards in the middle of winter?
Greg: The Venezuelan League. It took a lot of doing. By the way, if I were you, I wouldn't eat the gum.
Chris: Well, I don't have your gift.
Greg: It's cool. You can just double up on my birthday.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Deal! Two socks, it is!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought this Christmas was going to be one of the worst, but it turned out to be one of the best, 'cause I learned that you can't put love on layaway.
Julius: This is for you.
Chris: What's this?
Julius: A receipt. You owe me $35.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He's serious.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] In my neighborhood, we had layaway, where you paid off $5.00 a week until you owned something. It was like having a credit card and a hostage situation, all rolled into one. I was getting presents on layaway and a shot to keep the flu away.
Rochelle: God, I hope they hurry up, so we can get inside before they start reusing the needles.
Kill Moves: [sneezes on the back of Chris] Sorry about that. Uh, you getting a flu shot, too?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah. Make mine a double.

Chris: [sneezes]
Greg: You don't look so good. Are you getting sick? 'Cause you've got to be careful. The flu's going around and it's no joke. My father has it, and last night, it sounded like he coughed up a lung.

Greg: Wow, that's a lot of stuff. Sounds expensive.
Chris: It is. I got it from Goldstein's.
Greg: What? Are you crazy? I don't even shop there and I'm White.
Chris: Okay.

Rochelle: So, a Black Santa, huh?
Julius: Yeah!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He could tell them he's from the South Pole.

Rochelle: What are you guys doing?
Drew & Tonya: Nothing.
Tonya: You need any help?
Rochelle: No, I'm fine.
Drew: Well, if you need anything, just let us know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She needs you to act like this in March.

Doc: Here's your Christmas bonus.
Chris: Whoa, thanks, Doc. There must be, like, $50 in here.
Doc: No, it's $75. Now you can play video games till the cows come home.
Chris: What are these?
Doc: Well, they're game tokens. You didn't think I was giving you quarters, did you?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yes.
Chris: No. Thanks, Doc.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Doc took the expression "a token to my appreciation" literally.

Drew: Dad, you want some coffee?
Julius: Sure.
Tonya: And some cream?
Julius: Just a little bit. Wow, you guys are really helping out a lot lately.
Drew & Tonya: No problem.