Chris: [sneezes]
Rochelle: You're not getting sick, are you?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yes.
Chris: No.

Julius: [o.s.] Chris, come on.
Chris: Okay.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had to make sure I didn't get sick, even if I had to drink cough syrup like a rapper from Houston.

Chris: Uh, Dad?
Julius: Not now, Chris.
Manager: I'm sorry, I just don't feel like Goldstein's is the right fit for you.
Chris: Dad, I really don't feel that well.
Julius: You're firing me at Christmastime?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's the only time you can fire Santa.
[Chris faints]
Manager: Yes.
Julius: Fine. Chris, come on.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I don't know if he was more concerned because I lost consciousness or because I lost a half day's pay.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I checked out at the store and checked in to the hospital.
Julius: Walking pneumonia? That doesn't sound that bad.
Dr. Williams: Well, it started as walking pneumonia. Now, is this correct? The boy has two jobs?
Julius: Well, yeah. I mean...
Dr. Williams: Well, that's the problem. He needs some rest.
Rochelle: Well, what should we do when we get him home?
Dr. Williams: Well, you should pick up the phone, call an ambulance, and get them to bring him back here. He's got a fever of 103, he overdosed on cough syrup, and he's delirious.
Rochelle: Delirious?
Dr. Williams: Yes. He keeps mumbling something about, getting the president out of layaway. I'll be back to check on him.

Kris: Hey, what's wrong with you?
Chris: What?! Hey, who are you?
Kris: I'm Kris.
Chris: I'm Chris.
Kris: What a small world, huh? So what happened to you?
Chris: Well, I don't really know. Last thing I remember, I was in Goldstein's dressed as an elf. Next thing I know, I'm in here.
Kris: Hey, that makes you one of Santa's helpers, huh?
Chris: Yeah. My dad was working as Santa, but he got fired.
Kris: Oh, that's too bad. Sorry. But it really could be a lot worse.
Chris: And how's that?
Kris: He could be me. I have rheumatoid arthritis. I had a really nasty flareup. Cold weather really kills me. But, you know, stuff happens in life, you know. Hey, you know, I was watching your family, and you should know it's really a beautiful thing how much they care about you. You shouldn't forget that.
Chris: Well, I guess you're right.
Kris: I know I'm right. Listen, why don't you get some sleep, kid, huh? And merry Christmas.
Chris: Thanks. You, too.

Chris: Well, this sucks.
Kris: Hey, what's your problem, man, huh?
Chris: Well, I hate being in this hospital! I hate the fact that I'm sitting here, and I'm sick! And I also hate that I put some presents on layaway to give to my family, and now I can't give them to them.
Kris: Layaway?! Layaway is your problem? Are you kidding me? You're thinking about layaway when there's 300 patients in this hospital, and four nurses, and three are out sick, and one's out at lunch? Layaway! You didn't see that family that was attacked by 1,200 beavers, did you? And that poor mother, she came in here, they thought it was a fur coat, and they kicked her out. She had 1,200 beavers sucking her skin! And you're worried about layaway? What about the kid in the gang war? He got shot. Nine toes got shot off! Nine! He has one toe! One toe! And they wouldn't even give him nail polish for the one toe. Sad. There's a poor guy down there, he lost both his legs. They won't even give him any crutches, 'cause he cat afford it and he has no insurance. So you know what they gave him? A pogo stick. You're worried about layaway. See that kid downstairs? They're going to make a movie of the week about this guy. He got bit by 400 rats, and they won't even give him a rabies shot. They gave him a coloring book. Let me tell you something, Chris. I bet every patient in this hospital would give their left arm if their only problem was getting their gifts out of layaway.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only thing worse than Christmas without my family is having green Jell-O for breakfast.
Nurse: Here you go. Merry Christmas.
Chris: I hate green Jell-O.
Nurse: Well, it's either this or ice chips, so take your pick.
Chris: Fine. Hey, where's Kris?
Nurse: Who?
Chris: The old White guy. He was in the bed.
Nurse: There was no one in that bed.
Chris: Yes, there was. I sat there, and I talked to him for two days. I even played checkers with him.
Nurse: Did you break into the pharmacy? 'Cause if you're stealing drugs, we'll kick you right out of here.
Chris: I didn't steal any drugs.
Nurse: You're delirious. Eat your Jell-O.

Julius: Merry Christmas!
Chris: Where did you get all this stuff?
Tonya: Yeah! I thought you got fired.
Julius: I did.
Rochelle: Well, baby, how did you pay for all of this?
Julius: Chris bought it. He had it in layaway before he got sick. I got it out for him.
Rochelle: Thank you, baby. That's so sweet.
Chris: Well, merry Christmas, y'all!

Julius: What's wrong?
Manager: You're not presenting the image of Christmas that we're trying to promote, here at Goldstein's.
Julius: Image? What kind of image?
Manager: You're Santa Claus. You're not supposed to make the children cry.
Julius: These kids need to learn the truth about life.