Male Narrator: [on TV] This proud father goose is no exception. He graciously watches over and protects his chicks, assuring their safety until they are old enough to fend for themselves. In the wild, babies are almost never abandoned, and rarely left alone for any extended period of time.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] A great man once said, "Nothing screams louder than the sound of silence." I think it was Nipsy Russell.

Rochelle: Um, can I have one adult, two children for Trading Places, please?
Ticket Seller: You must think I'm a fool. You want me to believe he's under 12?
Julius: Yeah, she does.
Kids: Hey!
Rochelle: What are you doing here, baby?
Julius: I missed you guys. Father's Day without your family, it's like not being a father.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means, "That's what I was trying to tell yo' stupid ass!"
Rochelle: Come here.

Julius: Where's Chris?
Rochelle: Oh, he went to buy you a gift.
Julius: But I told-
Rochelle: Julius, please, just promise me you will act like it's the best gift you've ever gotten, okay?
Julius: I promise.
Rochelle: All right.
Julius: All right. Uh, that'll be two kids, two adults for, uh, Trading Places.
Ticket Seller: What's this?
Julius: Father's Day special, two for one.

Tonya: Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I made these for you. I know you said, don't get you a gift, but I wanted to give you something just in case you changed your mind.
Julius: Oh! Macaroni-covered slippers! It goes with the macaroni-covered cigar box I got last year.
Tonya: I know.

Drew: Hey, Dad, I got something for you, too.
Julius: Oh, what's this? A bottle of iodine?
Drew: No, no, no, it's cologne. I made it myself. I just couldn't find a bottle to put it in, so I poured the iodine out and put it in there.
Julius: Boy, that iodine cost 99... [Rochelle clears her throat] Hmm, that smells good. Thank you, Drew. Oh, man, thank you so much.