Julius Quote #136

Quote from Julius in Everybody Hates Father's Day

Rochelle: Um, can I have one adult, two children for Trading Places, please?
Ticket Seller: You must think I'm a fool. You want me to believe he's under 12?
Julius: Yeah, she does.
Kids: Hey!
Rochelle: What are you doing here, baby?
Julius: I missed you guys. Father's Day without your family, it's like not being a father.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That look means, "That's what I was trying to tell yo' stupid ass!"
Rochelle: Come here.

Rate

 ‘Everybody Hates Father's Day’ Quotes

Quote from Rochelle

Tonya: Mama, how come Daddy doesn't want to be with us on Father's Day?
Rochelle: Oh, baby, it's not that your daddy doesn't want to be with us, it's just that he works hard all the time and he just wants to have a little time to be by himself.
Drew: Man, that's cool. I can't wait until I'm a father so I can have this whole house to myself.
Rochelle: You are not gonna be a father in this house, because I ain't taking care of no babies. Lost your mind.

Quote from Adult Chris

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I tried to imagine doing the things that Greg talked about with my father. Like bringing him Cap'n Crunch and cantaloupe.
Julius: Are you crazy? Boy, you better bring me some bacon.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I thought about taking my dad to the zoo to see some penguins.
Julius: We paid $3.50 to see a bird that can't fly? What you gonna show me next, rats that don't eat cheese?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I even imagined us shooting off bottle rockets in front of the house. [bottle rocket whistling] [guns firing] [police officer shouting]
Julius: Run, boy, run!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I wonder if Greg's dad ever got shot at.

Quote from Julius

Rochelle: Well, it's the thought that counts.
Julius: I appreciate it, I really do, but if you buy me presents, I'm just gonna have to work to pay it off. At this rate, I'll be working when I'm dead.
[fantasy: Julius is in his casket down at the depot:]
Boss: Julius, you're dead. What are you doing here?
Julius: Trying to pay off these presents. Listen, can I work the graveyard shift?