Julius: Hey, man. What's going on?
Chris: Dad, can I sign up for karate class?
Julius: Karate class? Why don't you just learn from Drew?
Chris: I want to learn from a real teacher. Drew just does stuff he sees in movies.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Everything Drew knew about karate, he got from the Masters of Channel Nine Asian Invasion. Grand Master Lung Ti and the immortal David Chung.

Julius: What, you can't do her hair without burning her?
Rochelle: I told you before that I wanted to take her to the beauty shop, and you told me no.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father thought that going to the beauty shop meant that Tonya was growing up too fast, and she would end up like this.
[footage of a woman dancing suggestively]

Julius: How much is it gonna cost?
Rochelle: Ten dollars.
Julius: No.
Tonya: Daddy please.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That never worked for me.
Julius: Okay.

Mr. Jackson: Now, I want each and every one of you to listen to me. And watch. It's call the Shaolin handbreaker. Now this move is guaranteed to break anybody's hand. But I don't want y'all to try this. It's very dangerous. [yelling] Come here, boy.
Boy: Me?
Mr. Jackson: You.
Chris: [waves] If you don't want us to do this, well, then, why are you showing us?
Mr. Jackson: 'Cause that's what martial arts is all about. Learning ways to kill people. And then not doing it. [to the boy] Now, grab my shoulder.
[After the boy grabs Mr. Jackson's shoulder, the boy screams as Mr. Jackson grabs him by the hand and flips him onto the mat.]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At that moment, I learned two things. One, I learned a great karate move. And two, this fool was crazy.

Greg: Man, karate, it sounds complicated. I tried wrestling once, but I got knocked out.
Chris: Wait. You got knocked out in a wrestling match?
Greg: I'm as surprised as you are.
Chris: Well, I'm doing good. My teacher says I have a lot of potential. I think I might even be better at this than Drew.
Greg: Wouldn't you have to kill him to find that out?
Chris: I never thought of that.

Tonya: Mama, how long do we have to wait?
Rochelle: Hush, girl. My appointment was at 3:30. It's only 5:00.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only thing you wait for longer than a washer at the Laundromat is a chair at the beauty shop.
Pam: I'm ready for you, Rochelle.
Tonya: About time.
Rochelle: Watch your mouth, girl.

Drew: What are you doing?
Chris: Working on my form.
Drew: Why do you take lessons, anyway? I saw some stuff in The Return of the Five Deadly Venoms. It was way cooler than that.

Rochelle: Relax, it's just girls being girls.
Julius: I am not paying good money so my baby can get her hair done and come back hating men!
Rochelle: She does not hate men.
Julius: What am I supposed to think when she comes home talking like this?
Rochelle: Fine, I promise I'll talk to the girls at the shop and make sure that they don't gossip around her.
Julius: Mmm-hmm.

Mr. Jackson: Can I help you?
Julius: Yeah, uh, my son Chris was taking your class here.
Mr. Jackson: Chris? No, I don't I don't know any Chris. What, is there... Is there a problem?
Julius: It's just that the boys were fighting, and Chris accidentally broke his brother's hand. He says you taught him.
Mr. Jackson: Who was fighting?
Julius: Chris and my other son, Drew.
Mr. Jackson: No, I don't know any Drew. Either way I ain't had nothing to do with that.
Julius: No, man, I didn't say you had nothing to do with it. [places his hand on Mr. Jackson's shoulder] I'm just saying that... [gong echoes]
[They both scream as Mr. Jackson grabs Julius's hand]
Julius: Oh, God, help me!

Adult Chris: [v.o.] At that moment, I was having more trouble coping with Drew's broken hand than he was.
Chris: [reads] "Drew, if you need a nurse, I'll be happy to come over and get..." You'd better not let mama see that.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew still has that cast, and he hasn't finished calling all those girls yet.