Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Doc tried to protect his king, I tried to get rid of his queen.
Mr. Mervin Bingham: Where's your old lady?
Doc: I left her at the store. No need to bring sand to the beach.
Arminta: Who you calling sand?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I had to get Stacy with Doc. And once I went to the park, I found out what I had to do. I had to get Doc to take sand to the beach.
Doc: Check.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Checkmate.

Chris: [to Stacy] Here's your dress. They said to give you this card. It's for another dry cleaners you might want to try.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It's in Canada.

Chris: So, um, what exactly does Doc do on the weekends?
Stacy: He's playing chess at the park.
Chris: At the park? With the sugar daddies?
Stacy: The who?
Chris: Oh, the sugar daddies. You know, that's what the ladies call them.
Stacy: What ladies?
Chris: The ones at the park. I can't get a girl to talk to me at school, but these old men have them fighting over them. If don't have a woman by the time I'm 60...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I'll kill myself.
Chris: I'm picking up chess and going to the park.
Stacy: Mm, mm, mm, I should have known better.
Chris: Should have known better what?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Known better than to listen to a sneaky 15-year-old.

Stacy: It is the same thing over and over again! And Stacy is tired of it! Stacy is not a fool. When Stacy smells smoke, Stacy doesn't stand around and wait for the fire! Stacy is leaving!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Referring to yourself in the third person. It's not just for athletes anymore.
Chris: What do you want me to tell Doc?
Stacy: Tell Doc he can kiss...
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Your black?
Stacy: Don't tell Doc anything. It's not your job.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] First time she ever said that. I was like Cupid's retarded little brother. Damn, I'm good.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After I dropped the bomb on Stacy, unfortunately, Stacy dropped the bomb on Doc.
Chris: Hey, Doc. What are you doing here? Where's Stacy?
Doc: She's gone. I found this letter. She said it's over. Called me every name in the book.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You can never find that book at the library.
Doc: I don't understand. Did something happen yesterday?
Chris: No.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Unless you think me sabotaging your relationship is strange.
Doc: I just can't figure it out.
Chris: You okay?
Doc: I'm not feeling very well. I'm gonna go in the back and lie down. Get that bottle of whiskey for me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] At least he didn't ask me for a box of tissues.
Doc: And get me that box of tissues.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Doc hadn't needed whiskey and tissues since Maceo Parker left James Brown's band.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] At Tonya's school, her first day of wearing a bra also involved a box of tissues. Because, as it turns out, they were useful for the end of relationships and for the beginning.

Boy #1: Hi, Tonya.
Boy #2: Hey, Tonya.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Inside of two minutes, Tonya discovered bras not only got you attention, they got you favors.
Boy #1: Can I buy you lunch?
Boy #2: Can I do your homework?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] They got you gifts.
James: Voila!
Tonya: You bought me a car?!
James: I-If you don't like it, I could get you another one, but I'll need a day.

Chris: Did Doc say when he was gonna reopen?
Drew: He said he might never reopen.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I got rid of Stacy, my job and Doc's will to live. Way to go, dummy.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Doc was feeding the bums, losing Stacy was eating him up.
Chris: You spoken to Stacy?
Doc: No. She won't see me.
Chris: Drew said that you were thinking about closing up the store.
Doc: I'm gonna pack up my things and move to Florida, buy a boat... be sad there.
Chris: You're leaving?
Doc: I know. I know how much you liked that job, Chris. I'm sorry this had to happen.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Especially since it was my own fault.

Chris: Doc didn't do anything. It was me. I lied.
Stacy: Chris, don't you see how he's using a child to make excuses for him?
Chris: He's not. The truth is, Stacy, I don't like you, and I didn't like how hard you were making me work. I was trying to get rid of you. Trying to break you and Doc up.
Stacy: What?! Why wouldn't you like me?
Chris: You're making me clean your house!
Stacy: You missed a spot.
Chris: See?
Stacy: Chris, everybody likes me.
Chris: No. Nobody likes you. Except for Doc and Drew, and Drew doesn't count. He just likes pie.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] How's that for honest? Now she's gonna burn your house down.