Rochelle: Okay, Peaches. All right, girl. Well, I will see you later...
Peaches: Oh, speaking of later. Girl, I need a touch-up. Tasha's staying with friends tonight. I'm going out with this guy, and I need to look good.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Then you better not show him your tattoos.
Vanessa: Don't show him your tattoos.
Rochelle: You got tattoos?
Peaches: I was in jail.
Vanessa: I'll squeeze you in. Sit down.
Peaches: Oh, girl, thank you.

Julius: Hey. You did a good job with dinner tonight.
Chris: Thanks. Can I ask you a question?
Julius: I'm not giving up my sweet potato pie recipe. You're just gonna have to kill me first.

Chris: See, there's this guy in my Home Ec class.
Julius: You having a problem?
Chris: No, not at all. He's just a little flamboyant.
Julius: Flamboyant?
Chris: Yeah. He looks kind of like Boy George.
Julius: Oh, you mean androgynous?
Chris: Yeah. We have to partner on this project, and he's cool. I just don't want people thinking that me and him hang out like that.

Peaches & Malvo: Surprise.
Rochelle: Malvo?
Peaches: You two know each other?
Malvo: Yeah, baby, we old friends.
Rochelle: This is the guy you were talking about?
Peaches: Yeah. I didn't know you two knew each other. Why didn't you say something?
Malvo: Baby, you wouldn't quit talking.
Peaches: He is so stupid. Ain't he stupid?
Rochelle: Is that a trick question? [Malvo & Peaches laugh]
Malvo: Rochelle, you are crazy.
Rochelle: Oh, I could say the same thing about you. [both laugh]

Adult Chris: [v.o.] There haven't been this many ex-cons in one place since Naomi Campbell had lunch with Amy Winehouse.

Peaches: Thanks for dinner, y'all.
Malvo: Yeah.
Julius: I'm glad y'all showed up when y'all did, because we were done eating an hour ago.
Malvo: See, that's why y'all are good people. You know, if it had been me, I would have been, like, "I hope they ain't hungry." You know?
Rochelle: Well, how did you two meet?
Malvo: We both got the same parole officer.
Peaches: We were taking our drug tests, and he was coming out the bathroom.
Malvo: And she was coming down the hall and...
Both: We was both holding cups of pee.
Peaches: Oh, baby.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sounds like a love story for R. Kelly.

Julius: Does it say? Does it say "Rikers Island" on our door?
Rochelle: No.
Julius: Then why are there two convicts in my house?
Rochelle: She just showed up. What was I supposed to do?
Julius: Tell her to just get out.
Rochelle: I don't want to be rude.
Julius: Look, she barged in, she ate our food, and she brought a guest. She's rude.
Rochelle: She's Tasha's mother, okay? Now, for Chris and Tasha's sake, we have to be neighborly.
Julius: Look, be neighborly at her house. I don't want her in here.

Peaches: Come on, ya'll. Where the Jell-O?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Did you try Bill Cosby's house?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at school, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and into my discomfort zone.
Angel: [to another boy] You'll get your Eurythmics tape back when I give it back, bitch.
Chris: Hey, man.
Angel: Hey.
Chris: You want to go get some lunch and hang out or something?
Angel: No.
Chris: Why not?
Angel: [moves away from the group] Chris, you're a nice guy. I don't know how to say this. I don't mind working with you in class, but being seen with you out here... It's a whole other thing. I get picked on enough for the way I dress. Hanging out with you will give people one more reason.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I just got the "It's not you, it's me" speech from a guy who wears pumps? While I figure out my feelings, let's take a break.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I got a sleeveful, my mother was getting an earful.
Peaches: He's a Pisces. I'm an Aquarius. That's fish and water. And they go together, right? Ooh, girl, that ain't-
Rochelle: Peaches, I would love to talk to you right now, but I gotta cook.
Peaches: Ooh, I could help you cook. You making chicken, I could fry. Corn, I could shuck. I can make a mean grilled cheese with a iron if you're desperate.
Rochelle: No, that's okay.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And if you're really desperate, wine out of toilet water and a gun out of soap.
Peaches: Okay, my grilled cheese is fresh to die f--
Rochelle: Peaches? Stop, okay? I really appreciate the fact that you like me, but we have to set some boundaries.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Like prison gates.
Peaches: Oh, okay, okay. Girl, say no more. See, we just alike. You need your space, I need my space.